How Did This Happen?
by jds87
Summary: You don't know how it happened. You don't know why you let her, why you let her touch you like noone had ever done before. But one thing you do know: You liked it ! Pairing: Faberry with a slice of Brittana on the side.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: How did this happen?**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.**

**Pairings: Faberry (& a bit of Brittana).**

**I might continue this with another chapter but for now it's a one-shot.**

_**Re-uploading the chapters May 2013: Extra spelling checks and beta of the chapters. I'm sorry if there are still mistakes in it. **_

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**How did this happen?**

**Chapter 1**

You had the week of hell. Coach Sylvester has been on your case all week long because she isn't happy with the Cheerio's routine. She makes you stay after school every single day to go over it again. To criticize to you about who does what wrong, as if it's all your fault. She complains to you non-stop about Glee club, and all the ways she's going to try and _destroy _it.

You try to block it all out. You try to ignore Santana's bitchy mood. You don't want to hear another thing about her fight with Brittany. You don't want to hear another complaint, _from anyone_. You just want the weekend to begin. You want to be left alone in peace.

You wake up feeling relieved. You're thankful because, _finally_, it's Friday. The grateful feeling however is shortlived, because you hear your parents fighting, _loudly_. You hear your father shouting to your mother. You're used to it, as much as one can get used to the constant shouting and fighting.

You, _again_, try to ignore it as you get ready for the last day of school. It takes longer to get ready then you're used to. You spend more time under the shower, trying to relieve the tension by standing under the scalding hot water. You hope that, by the time you get out of your room, the fighting will be over. That one of your parents or preferably both, will have left for work. But fate doesn't grant you that wish. It's even worse that when you woke up.

You take a deep breath and prepare yourself for what is about to come. You make your way downstairs and into the kitchen, wanting to quickly grab something to eat so you could be on your way from the house of misery to the school of hell. At least at school there's much less shouting and fighting. You hear a loud noise followed by a scream. As quickly as you can you make your way to your fathers study. Your mother is holding her cheek. Your father has hit her and is about to take another swing. You jump between the two of them. You don't know why, you're running on instinct. You shove your father away with an angry push.

"_LEAVE_!" you yell. Your father is slightly shocked about your interference. He clearly wasn't inspecting it.

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm still your _father_, Quinn." He orders as he makes his way back towards the two of you.

"Leave." You say again, although your voice has lost much of it's strength. You try to keep it together but you know your father is a strong man with a lot of brute force. "You have to leave her alone."

"You…" he starts as he pushes you backwards, thinking you would be pushed against your mother but finding nothing but hard wall. She has left you alone, with a raging father. You protected her from getting yet another beating and she hasn't done a thing to protect you, her daughter. "…are just as worthless as your mother." He spats the words in disgust. He forcefully shoves you out of his study and slams the door shut. Tears start to form behind your eyes but you don't cry. You never cry because you can't let anyone see your hurt and pain, you can't ever let your guard down.

Quickly making your way back into the kitchen to get your stuff you see your mother sitting at the kitchen table, glass of whisky in her hand, the left side of her cheek marked with a hand print on it. You feel anger, _rage_ at both the fact that your father did this to your mother but also to the fact that she left you in there with _him_. She left you alone yet again. You could have been hurt, _again_, but she wouldn't come to help. You give her another glance before you run away, you run to your car as fast as your feet would go and you speed away.

You make it to school in record time. You know that when you are mad you don't tend to keep yourself to the speed limits. Sometimes you would even welcome it if you got into an accident, if you were in the hospital. At least then you would have some peace and quiet.

You are on a path of war, daring anyone to speak to you today. You hope that someone gives you a reason to explode but alas. Coach Sylvester is in an unusual good mood and Santana and Brittany are all over each other. It's clear that they have made up and you wonder what was worst, them fighting or them being sickenly sweet.

"Hey Q, what's up?" Santana asks with a smile. Her lips leaving Brittany's neck as she sees you coming.

"Leave me alone." You snarl, you just keep walking. You _have _to keep walking.

"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong?" Santana asks as she lets go of Brittany and follows you.

"Nothing!" You try to remain calm. You don't want Santana to be your victim of outburst. But you can feel it coming.

"Quinn…" She tries softly and you hate the fact that she knows something has happened, something that made you this angry. You hate that Santana knows you this well.

Then you hear singing. You heard it a million times before because you are, afterall, in Glee club with them. You hear them getting closer as the singing grows louder. The five of them, the outcasts of the school. The _losers_. Loser number one: Rachel Berry. A while after you had started going to Glee, you all had gotten closer.

You would sometimes think of them as your friends. But right now, you want, need someone to lash out to. So when Rachel Berry dares to open her mouth to you, Santana and Brittany, you reach your boiling point. "Good morning, Quinn, Santana, Brittany. Don't forget that we have Glee tonight. We'll see you there?" She says, her ever apparent smile in place as they walk past the three of you.

Another thing you hate. Rachel "Manhands" Berry is _always_ smiling. Whatever people toss at her, the girl always comes back with a smile. You hate it and you hate _her_. So when Karofsky walks down the hall, a slushie in his hand, you yank it away from him. He tries to protest but you roughly shove him away. Santana sees you staring at the backs of the remaining Glee members as they walk further away from you, and she sees what you are about to do.

"Quinn, don't!" Santana harshly whispers as she grabs your elbow to prevent you from going after them.

You growl. "Let me go, _now_!" You try to use force but with only one free hand it's hard and Santana quickly has the upper hand.

"Come with me." Santana says, pushing you into the nearest free classroom.

"Dammit, Santana. I said that you had to leave me alone!" You scream as you place the slushie on the desk and get right in her face.

She doesn't look impressed, she doesn't even flinch. In fact, her voice is normal, calm. "Will you tell me what happened?" She asks.

"I want you to leave me alone." You bark, backing away, your hand going back to the slushie, you had a mission afterall. But she takes it away before you can reach it.

"Quinn…you don't want to do this." Santana says. "You need to calm down."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do, Santana!" You shout. "Just leave me the hell alone!" You kick a chair that dared to be in your way and you watch it fall against the wall. "I just want everyone to leave me alone!" you shout angrily.

"Throwing a slushie at _her_ isn't going to solve it now, is it?" Santana reasons. "We agreed that we wouldn't do it anymore. We're all friends now, Q." Santana has trouble to say that last part but you heard it loud and clear. We did agree that. We agreed that we wouldn't do things like this ever again. We agreed that we even liked Glee club, even though we would never admit it. But at the moment, You don't care. You _can't_ care.

"They're no friends of mine." You roar. "Now let me go before I throw the fucking thing on you!"

Santana sighs. "You'll regret it later, Q."

You see an opening and quickly grab the slushie and run out of the classroom. You run down the hall and around the corner. You can hear the singing again, the laughing. They were having fun, that was all. But right now, you, hated fun and everyone who had it.

You stop running and power walk towards them. As if they hear you coming they turn around and gasp in shock. Their smiles instantly disappearing for their faces. They see you coming and you see _her _preparing for impact. Because she knows by the look on your face and the intense stare that you are there for her. The others look sad, they look at you with disappointment. And for a second you see that _she _is afraid.

You feel your anger slowly being replaced by tears that build up again.

"Leave." You snarl towards the others, wanting them to go away with their sad, judging faces. You look around and see a crowd forming. "Everyone leave, now!" You bellow at all the people who were now staring at you. Rachel gazes behind you and you look around. Santana and Brittany are standing at the end of the hallway, watching you with matching judging faces. Everyone is always judging you. Everyone is always better then you. You try to stay angry as you turn back around and face her.

You hesitate. You stare. You feel the tears. "Do it." She says quietly. "Get it over with, Quinn."

"Shut up!" You reply because you'll throw it in your own time.

"Do it now or tell me what's wrong." Rachel says. You wonder why she's so calm, why isn't she angry about what you are going to do?

You get ready, you bring your arm backwards, the ice cold slushie numbing your hand. She closes her eyes and waits for it. You see it happen and you can't do it. You can't do it and it makes you even more mad because you know it isn't her fault. She slowly opens her eyes and you see her stare back at you as you try to control your breathing, tears starting to form behind your eyes as all your emotions are getting the best, or worst of you.

You forcefully throw the slushie in the garbage and storm into the locker room. You hit and kick the lockers and bend over to try and catch your breath when you hear the door open. "Are you happy now, Santana? I couldn't do it, I couldn't throw it at her face." You say. "Just leave me alone, San."

"It's me." A soft voice comes from across the room and you abruptly turn around.

"You can't be in here!" You say because it's true. Coach Sylvester doesn't allow non-cheerios to be in her locker room. "Leave!" You order as you turn back around to stare at the wall infront of you. You hear the door being locked and you turn around again, lifting your eyebrows.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what that was about." She tells you as she stands infront of the now closed door, making sure you can't go anywhere.

"It's not of your business, Berry."

"You were about to throw a slushie on me, that kinda makes it my business, doesn't it?" She asks.

"Yeah, but I _didn't_ throw it, now did I?" You try, hoping she would just leave you be.

She comes closer to you and you walk backwards until you hit the wall. "Thank you." She whispers.

You close your eyes because she was thanking you for not throwing a slushie at her face. She was thanking you for not doing something horrible to her yet again. "Please, leave." You don't know how much longer you'll hold it all in.

She stares at you before she reaches in her bag and pulls out a magazine and hands it to you. You take it and stupidly stare at it. "Why are you giving me this?"

"Tear it apart." Is all she says.

"What?"

"Roll it up and try to rip it apart until your hands and arms hurt."

You feel your hands clench around the magazine. She is offering you another way. A way that doesn't involve anybody else getting hurt in your wrath. You slowly roll it up as you try to slow your breathing. "Let it out, Quinn." She says and you no longer try to control yourself.

You scream out your frustration and kill the magazine, you rip and rip until your arms hurt. You tear it apart until you fall in a blubbering mess on the floor. Your hands hurt but you realize you do feel better. The anger is gone. The only thing left now is sadness and tears. "Please leave." You say as you feel her closing the distance between the two of you.

"I'm not going anywhere, Quinn." She says as she sits down next to you. Ever so slowly she extends her hand and places it on your shoulder.

"I'm not worth it." You say through tears. "I'm not worth pity, especially not from you."

"Quinn, I don't pity you." Rachel says softly. "I feel sad because you are sad."

You look up at her words. "Why?" you ask her, wondering why on earth she cares. You've been nothing but horrible to her in the past. Granted, the last few months you hadn't made it a mission to make her life hell but still, you didn't deserve her kindness.

"Someone has obviously caused you a lot of pain." She says. "I care about my friends, Quinn. I _care_ about _you_."

"We're not friends!" you say, more out of reflex then anything else. You immediately regret it but don't take it back. It's easier to try and stay mad. Or better, make Rachel mad at you.

"Okay…" She says, trying to catch your eyes. "I'm still not leaving."

You wipe the tears away, you don't want her to see you when you are _weak_. You don't want her to see your tears although you had been crying for minutes now.

"I'm going to hug you know, okay?"

You just stare at her. You gawk and don't do anything else. Because pushing everything and everyone away has made you tired, so _so_ very tired. You watch her as she carefully puts her arms around you, as if she is afraid that you would break. She's careful but she pulls you oh so close that you are pressed against her in a full-on hug. Pushing her away briefly comes into your mind but you welcome the warmth more then anything.

You can't remember the last time you had someone this close. You don't remember the last time anyone had hugged you like this. And you wonder if you have ever let anyone even be this close to you when you were vulnerable.

"Let go, Quinn." Rachel says. "I'll catch you."

It's probably the sweetest thing you have ever heard. You sigh and put your cheek on her shoulder and just do what she told you to. You let go. You feel her hand rubbing softly on your back, you feel her hand in your hair, calming you, soothing you.

You feel her moving, you feel her head move and you most definitely feel when her lips touch your head, kissing you hair. It's nice, you feel so loved at the moment that you wonder why you deserve this. You pull away to look at her. You still feel tears rolling down your eyes. She smiles sadly at you and wipes the tears away with her thumbs.

She just nods as her hands continue to soothe you. You try to smile through your tears but fail miserably. Your try to speak but you can't find words. But you do feel yourself leaning in, getting closer to her head. You place your lips softly on her cheek, pulling back ever so slightly. Your lips are still grazing her cheek. "Thank you." You hear yourself whisper across her skin.

You _feel_ her nod because your lips are still faintly against her cheek. You close the almost none existent gap and kiss her cheek again, inches away from her lips. Her hand tightens around your arm as you stay close. You eyes were closed since the moment you placed your lips on her cheek. You smell her perfume, you feel her every move. Your lips graze her soft skin again and this time you make contact with her lips. Soft lips are now resting against yours, you press closer and ever so slightly open your mouth before pressing closer again. This time you feel her move her lips as well as she responds to your kiss. It's soft but you feel it, you feel her lips move.

She pulls away slowly, her hands are on your shoulders now. She has an intense stare and just looks at you. She doesn't judge but doesn't say anything else either. She just looks, looks right through you as you feel a lonely tear making it's way down your cheek. Again, she's there to catch it, like she said she would. You lean in again and this time kiss her with faintly more force. She moans softly and it's the sweetest thing you have ever heard. Rachel Berry moaned in your mouth, she moaned because of the kiss you were giving her.

It only spurs you on. You pull away, catch your breath and go right back to her lips, kissing them hungrily. Your hands are everywhere and she's only trying to pull you closer. She wants more contact as she kissed you back with equal force. You move and move until you press Rachel's back against the wall. But you do it without any force. Not like your father did it to you that same morning. You block out the anger when that memory pops into your brain, haunting you. You straddle her as she puts her hands on your hips, keeping you in place.

This time you moan because you feel her tongue against your lips. You grant her permission because her touch feels way to good to be denied. Your hands can't seem to find a place to rest, they have been moving since you started kissing her. They run through her hair and she moans at the feeling. Your hands seem content being there and you rest them on her neck, your fingers playing with her hair. Breathing becomes hard, you know both of your chests are heaving by now.

Rachel pulls away and her dark eyes find yours. Her lips are slightly swollen and her hair isn't perfect anymore. You see her stare at your lips next and know they must be swollen as well. "What are we doing?" You hear Rachel whisper. You hear her saying the words but they don't seem to register in your mind. If they had you would be out of the door faster then a bullet. But you just stare, you've never seen her like this before. You never bothered before but now that you have, you can feel the warmth she send out with her loving eyes, her gaze bores through you and settle in your heart.

"We're feeling." You answer because it's true. You are feeling. You're feeling her and you like it. It may not register in your mind but your heart sure felt it.

She swallows and this time closes the gap herself, placing her lips on yours. You kiss her with passion and your hands start roaming again. You think about what would happen if someone walked in right now but remember that she had locked the door. She had locked it because she thought you would run away if she didn't. Something you probably would have done if it would have been someone else.

Your hands find the first button of her shirt and you fumble it before popping it open. Your lips never leave each others as you open the others buttons, her shirt soon falling open as you graze her sides. She feels so warm, _so_ _good_. She moans loudly and brings her legs up, bringing the two of you closer together as she hungrily breaks the kiss only to attack your neck. You move your head to give her better access. Her hands reach your ass as she tries to pull you even closer, causing your centers to press together making you both moan at the contact.

Her hands are now playing with the hem of your shirt as she slowly lifts it. You feel her pulling at it and you put your hands on her wrists, stopping her movement. You want to stay in whatever control you still have. She's breathing heavily and looks from your now joined hands to your eyes.

She says nothing but moves in again to assault your lips with her own. You let her because nothing has ever felt this good. You forget everything and just feel. She moves her hands again and you feel them run under your shirt, she traces her fingertips over your skin and you don't know why you stopped her in the first place.

When she feels that you won't protest anymore she pulls the shirt up and over your head before you even notice it. You let her do whatever she wants. You want to feel every move and you give her permission to do so. You feel her movements, you feel all off it. You feel her take off your clothes, you feel as she makes her way down your body, her kisses hot and passionate.

You come undone under her hands, she takes you over that edge for the first time. You feel yourself starting to pull away because noone has ever made you feel this way. Noone has ever touched you in the way you just let her. But she's so careful with her movements, every touch so soft, ever kiss so passionate that you don't want to stop. You're naked under her but you only feel warmth. Your heart is beating out of it's chest from the sensation but she doesn't let you go.

Rachel Berry just made you orgasm. And Rachel Berry once again caught you as you came down from your high. She's still kissing you softly, her wet fingers tracing your skin, the palm of her hand coming to rest on your stomach. The material of her skirt grazes against your thighs now because she's back to kissing your lips. You open your eyes to look at her. Her eyes are closed as you watch her move her lips to your cheek. Your hand, that has been resting on Rachel's naked back trails up and stops on her cheek.

Rachel finally opens her eyes and kisses the palm of your hand before looking at you. Your breathing becomes calm again as you watch her. "Thank you." You whisper again and you don't know why you say it. You just did something you never thought you would, and especially not with Rachel Berry. But the way she looks at you…you never felt more loved then in that moment. She takes your hand, the one that was on her cheek and kisses your open palm. "Thank _you_, Quinn."

**TBC?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone. First of all, thank you! I received many reviews and alerts in my mailbox and that made me smile. I've decided to write another chapter. **

**The only problem is, this was meant to be an one-shot SO I don't really have a plotline for the story. So, I don't really now what will happen next… all ideas are welcome.**

**But for now, here's chapter 2. I hope you will all like it.**

**Oh yes, I just wanted to say sorry in advance for any mistakes that are in the chapter. English isn't my first language so there are bound to be mistakes in it. I re-read it a couple of times but I'm sure there will still be typo's in there. So sorry! Please overlook them.**

**Title: How did this happen?**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing.**

**Pairings: Faberry (& a bit of Brittana).**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

How did this happen?

**Chapter 2**

Once you have calmed down and you truly realize what you just did you get dressed rather quickly. You say nothing as you put your clothes back on slowly. You wouldn't know what to say anyways. You watch Rachel out of the corner of your eyes as she puts her bra and shirt back on. You watch as she picks up the magazine that you have torn apart before and watch her put it in the garbage can.

You, by now, are fully clothed and continue to watch her. She's looking in one of the mirrors on the wall. She washes her hands before she's trying to tame her hair when she catches you staring. You walk towards her and stop behind her, trying to find words because you don't want to go without saying something, _anything_. "I…I'll look if it's safe to go out now." You idiotically say.

She nods. "Okay."

You slowly unlock the door and poke your head around it, looking into the empty hall. You both missed the first class of the day but you couldn't care less about that right now. You just hope Rachel wouldn't be in trouble for not showing up in whatever class she would have had first.

You turn back around and nod your head at her, saying it's clear to go outside. She nods back and is almost outside the door when you grab her hand. She stops and stares at you. You look back and just squeeze her hand. She looks down at them and nods again. "I'll see you later, Quinn." She says before she walks out.

You watch her go and close the door again after she has walked around the corner. You put your head against it and take a deep breath before turning around and sliding to the floor. You stay there until the bell rings and you force yourself to go to your next class. It's hell, you're back at feeling miserable and now you have Rachel Berry on your mind as well.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You try with all your might to avoid her all day. At lunch, you keep your head down and sit in a corner. Santana comes to sit with you, she always does. And with Santana comes Brittany..., when they are not fighting.

"Q?" Santana asks.

You look up at her. "Hey San, Brit." You force yourself to say. "I see you two made up." You add with a small smile that earns you a big smile from Brittany, who nods happily.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Not really…"

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." You counter again.

"Okay." Santana says to you before reaching in her bag to retrieve her lunch.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, Brit?"

"Do you want a hug?"

Your first urge is to say no, because you don't want any physical contact. But you notice Santana's look before you turn to Brittany, who's looking at you with big eyes. "I would love one, Brit."

She jumps out of her seat and comes to hug you from behind. She holds onto you tightly and presses your cheeks together. "I love you, Quinn." She says and you can't help but smile. Brittany is a good friend. You hold onto her arm to return the hug as best as you can.

"I love you too, B." You reply with a smile. It's true anyways, these two people are your best friends. They always had your back. So, you look at Santana and speak to her without using any words. You say the words with your eyes because you and Santana don't talk mushy mushy against each other. She grins and nods, because, yes, Santana loves you too.

You feel Santana staring at you while you quietly eat your lunch. You wait for her to spit out whatever she wants to say. But when she does, you wish she wouldn't have.

"I saw Rachel going in to the locker room." Santana says.

You almost choke on your food when you hear her comment. It didn't occur to you that someone had seen that. You wonder who else had seen her walk in after you. You slightly panic now because you wonder if someone has seen her walk away almost an hour later as well.

"What did she want?"

"Nothing." You reply and you silently pray that Santana drops this because you would never tell her, or _anyone_, what had happened.

"Did she give you a hard time?"

"Santana…" You feel yourself getting worked up again because you feel pressured. "She didn't do anything, okay?"

"Okay…but if she did th-"

"She didn't do anything!" You snap. You instantly feel bad because you know Santana is only looking out for you. "Nothing happened. I asked her to leave and she did." You say.

Santana hold up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I won't say another thing."

"San…"

"It's cool, Q." Santana says. "I understand, I'll see you in Glee." She smiles at Brittany and kisses her goodbye. Brittany smiles at you and leaves as well, running after her girlfriend. You sigh and turn back to your food but you're not really hungry anymore. You feel bad because you have pissed off your best friend. You get up after a while and just throw your food away.

The day slowly comes to an end. You're walking to your last class of the day.

Glee.

While you had successfully avoided Rachel and the others, you would now have to face them. You thought about not going at all but you actually love this class. It makes you forget your troubles for a while. You also don't want to admit it but you want to see how Rachel will react when you come in. How she will react after what happened.

You take another deep breath and walk in. Of course she's already there, they all are. You had been rude to them and you regret it. Silence falls as you walk in. You stop walking and watch her, watch them as they notice you walk in. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie and Rachel. You see Rachel swallow as your gaze falls on her. You walk towards the other side of the classroom and feel their eyes on you. You don't dare to look up again, not at least until mister Schuester and everyone else walks in.

You don't know what you had expected her to look like but Rachel looks normal. Clearly you didn't expect a big sign on her forehead saying _"I had sex with Quinn Fabray." _But you stare at her as you think about what had happened between the two of you. You remember what you, what _she_, had done. As if she feels your eyes on her she turn her head and looks back at you. You quickly look down when she catches your eyes but then look up again because you are curious to see if she's still watching. She is. She gives you a small smile before returning her attention back to the front of the class. And even something as little as that smile made you feel better instantly.

You try to pay attention, you really do, but it's hard. You feel as if you should talk to Rachel, but you don't know what to say, you don't know how to explain what you are feeling. You also noticed that Santana was watching you after a while. She must of noticed you looking at Rachel that much and you don't dare to do so anymore for the rest of the class.

When class is over, you are happy and sad at the same time. You are happy that school is over for this week but you hate the fact that now you will have to go home, to the house of misery. Everyone quickly leaves. Santana and Brittany say goodbye and run out of class because they had other plans now that they had made up.

"Quinn?"

You look up and wonder how long you had been sitting there thinking because the school is now quiet. You don't even hear people walk past the classroom on their way outside. You look up and see that Rachel is still with you in the room. You look but don't reply to her.

"I was going to practice some more songs…" She says, explaining why she was still there.

You nod. "Can I stay?" you ask quietly.

She seems surprised at your question. "It's a classroom, Quinn." She starts. "I…of course you can stay." She finishes.

"Thank you." You are aware that you have said this to her several times now.

She just nods again and moves towards the piano, she places her sheet music on it and starts playing. You watch her again, like you did this morning. You watch her because you can, because noone else is there to notice the blunt staring you are doing.

She starts humming the melody to the song she is playing on the piano. It's beautiful, peaceful and you feel yourself getting up and walking towards the piano. You hesitate before sitting down next to her. She falters for just a second but keeps playing.

"Rachel?"

She stops playing this time but doesn't look at you. You feel her take a deep breath. "You know, I think that's the first time you ever said my name." She replies.

You don't dare to look at her because you are afraid. So, you look at her hands, her _soft_ hands, you remember. Her loving hands. "Rachel." You start again. "About this morning…"

Rachel sighs softly. "Quinn, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?" you softly ask.

"We don't have to talk about it." Rachel says, she's giving me an out. She's saying that you could just forget about what had happened. She's giving you the option to mark this as a big blunder and just move on as if nothing has happened. "I understand if you think this was all a huge mistake."

It would be the easy way, it would be easy to forget it happened. But you can't, you can't for all the right reasons. It felt good. It felt right. The way she touched you, it marked you. You still feel her lingering touch on your legs. You don't want to forget, it had been your first time, the first time you let your control go, the first time you had had an orgasm at someone else's hand.

"I can't." You say.

Rachel nods. "I understand." She sighs and gets up and you are confused for a minute. But then you realize that she had taken what you had said in another way. You get up and follow her. "Rachel, I _can't_ forget about it." You whisper and you hear her take a deep breath before turning around.

"What do you mean?"

"It…it was…it was my first time." You feel stupid for admitting that.

She gasps and falls into a chair behind her in shock. She obviously didn't expect you to say that to her. You see her breathing becoming heavier. "Quinn, I'm _so_ sorry." You hear her say before she looks up and you notice the tears in her eyes. She thinks you are mad at her, she's afraid about what she has done.

You kneel before her and you search her eyes. The last thing you wanted was for her to start crying. You grasp her hands that are laying on her lap and hold them tight. You slowly come closer, your eyes never leaving hers. She looks so vulnerable all of a sudden and you wonder if this was what you looked like this morning. You lean in the last few inches and kiss her again. You feel her gasp for air but you feel the pressure of her lips against yours. One of your hands runs up her arm and comes to rest on her neck again. You pull away and immediately you feel lost without the feeling of her lips.

"Rachel, this morning…I can't forget about it." You say again.

"I didn't know, I'm _so_ sorry, Quinn" She tells you again.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Rachel." You tell her, trying to make her feel better. "I let you, I … wanted you to."

She nods but tears form behind her eyes again. "Quinn…" She starts. You are confused as to why she is this upset about it. You figure that, if it had been anyone else, they would have been proud, would have bragged about the fact that they had been _"the one". _

"What's wrong?"

She looks up with tears in her eyes. "Quinn, your first time should have been special." She whispers. "I didn't know, Quinn. I wouldn't have done it if I had known."

"It was." You tell her, because in your eyes, it had been special.

Rachel huffs, stands up and walks away from you. "Quinn, it's was on the floor of the locker room. What on earth is special about that?" she says as she turns around again to face you.

You once again feel warmth covering your heart. And although she might be right about what she said, you don't feel as if it's true. And you most certainly don't want her to feel bad about it either.

"Rachel." You start once again, liking how it sounds coming from yourself. You come to stand before her again and put your hands on her hips. "I never felt more loved in my whole life… I… never feltmore _alive_ then when you were with me this morning."

"What are you saying here, Quinn?"

"Rachel... you were so sweet, so caring." You start. "And I don't regret it, I don't regret it for one second." You try to make it clear.

She seems in shock at your words. She probably is, you would be as well if someone told you all of this. "Okay…I…I have to go." She says.

You try not to feel hurt about it. You try to mark this as '_she's just confused_.' You watch her pack her bag. She turns back to look at you. "Okay." Is all you say.

"I have to go." She says again, she looks for a moment more at you before slowly walking away. She's walking really slow towards the door, as if she doesn't want to leave at all.

"Rach?" You ask. She turns back around and looks at you again. "Can I come with you?" you softly ask.

You notice that's she's shocked again about your question. "You want to come home with me?" she asks, as if she didn't hear you correctly.

You nod but you are afraid of her answer. But the moment is brief as she puts her hand out for you to take. You walk towards her and grasp it softly. You stare at your joined hands as she leads you out.


	3. Chapter 3

How did this happen?

**Chapter 3**

You had followed her directions and drove her home. The ride had been spend in utter silence and you wish you had known something to say to her. But, the truth is, you hadn't spend that much time together before. So, instead, you turned on the radio as a distraction.

She invited you in and offered you a beverage which you declined. She told you her dads wouldn't be home until much later that evening and asked you to come upstairs with her.

You walk in her room and it's not not what you had expected it to look like. It's a nice room, it feels warm to be in. As warm as Rachel you think, but you don't tell her that part. You can tell Rachel is uncomfortable, she can't keep still and her legs bop up and down quickly.

"Quinn?" She finally asks.

"Yes?"

"Why did you want to come home with me?"

You didn't expect that to be her first question, _at all_, but you want to give her an honest answer. "To be honest, I just wanted a reason not to go home yet."

She hesitates before asking her next question. "Is…is that why you were so upset this morning?"

"Yes." You reply again. You don't want to go into detail. You _have _to stay strong.

"Why did you ask if you could come with _me_? Surely Santana wouldn't have minded either?"

"Actually, I think she wouldn't have been thrilled if I asked her, now that her and Brittany have made up." You tell her. "But yes, I could have asked her, but I didn't."

"Then why?" Rachel asks you.

"Do you want me to go?" You ask because you feel as if she doesn't want you there, she's asking so many questions and it's making it harder not to break down again. Plus, she seems even more uncomfortable now.

She shakes her head. "I don't want you to go, I just…what do you want from me, Quinn?"

"I don't want anything from you!" You snap. You know it's just a defense mechanism. You really shouldn't react like this but you can't help it. "Look, I'll just go, alright. You clearly don't want me here." You say in defense, it's the only way you know, to just walk away. You grab your bag and walk to the door. She jumps up and infront of you.

"I'm sorry, Quinn." She tells you. "I'm just really confused, I don't know what to feel, I don't know what's going to happen next."

"Okay." You reply. You can understand why she is confused, you still are as well. "Do you regret what happened?" You ask, thinking that is probably the best question to ask her first. If she says yes, you don't even have to bother talking things out.

"Honestly?" She asks you.

"Preferably, yes." You smile, feeling yourself calm down again. You let your bag slip back to the ground.

"Yes and no." She starts. "I don't regret it happened or that it was you and me. I _do_ regret because I feel like I used you, Quinn. You were so upset and I feel like I have taken advantage of you. Not only that, but it was your first time, Quinn." Rachel tells you. "But then you told me how you feel about it and I…I'm just confused at what to do."

"You didn't take advantage of me, I'm pretty sure I started it, I-"

"But _I should've_ stopped it, you were really upset and clearly not thinking straight."

"Rachel! Stop thinking that you took advantage of me. It happened, _I_ _let_ it happen." You raise your voice, hoping to get the message across. "And you seem to forget that it was me who kissed you _again_ after Glee." You add.

She looks as if she really did forgot about that because she stays quiet. You can almost hear her thinking. "What does this mean?" She whispers, her head down.

"I don't know." You tell her because you aren't sure.

She looks at you. "Before this morning we never really had a decent conversation and now, you're kissing me, we had…I made you…" she starts to blush when she says those last words. _'It's cute.'_ you briefly think.

"Well, how did you feel when I kissed you again after Glee?" You ask her because she told you she feels bad about this morning, you were in tears afterall. "You kissed me back." You remind her.

"It felt different."

You don't really know what to make of that answer. "Is that a good thing?"

"This has never happened to me before, Quinn." She tells you. "Never before has me comforting anybody led to an orgasm."

"Okay…please don't take this the wrong way but _why_ _did_ you return my kiss this morning?" You ask, it seems as if it's a question that would get you some insights.

You see her thinking about what to say. You see her opening her mouth a couple of times before she actually gives you an answer. "I just…Quinn, you were so sad, you looked so devastated. I mean, I had never seen you like that, ever before. And I just wanted to make you feel better, it was killing me to see you like this. And after you kissed me…I guess I wasn't really thinking clearly anymore either." Rachel explains. "Quinn, I don't regret it _but _it shouldn't have happened, I _should've_ stopped it. I can't help but feel guilty about it."

You nod as you take in her words. It hurts you that she told you this but at least she's being honest. It only confuses you more though. "So, you do think it was a mistake?"

"No…I'm saying that, under normal circumstances, this would have never happened." She tells you. "You said it yourself, Quinn, and even though I don't agree with it completely, we are not friends." She sadly states.

"I didn't mean that." You whisper. "We _are _friends."

You see her taking a deep breath as she rubs her temples. "God Quinn, this is all way too much, I can't process this right now. I just…I have all these questions and feelings and I just…I really can't deal with this at the moment. I need to sort out my thoughts."

You nod again because what else can you do? You understand that it is a lot to take in at the moment. Your sad about her words but theres nothing you can do about it right now. You can only give her answers and time if needed. "Okay, you say you have questions? Well, you can ask me."

You see her shake her head. "Quinn, I don't want to make you feel bad, I just… I need some time to think about this."

"Rachel, I'm a big girl, just ask me."

"Okay…what if you feel differently after this weekend? What if, whatever it was that made you this upset clears up and you really regret this? What if you blame me for what happened, what if-"

You hold up your hand because she's shooting all those questions at once at you. You walk closer again and take her hand. "Rachel, I guess…" You think about her questions. "You're right. I don't know how I'll feel about all of this after this weekend. I can only tell you what I feel right now." You start to tell her as she gazes at you.

You let go of her hand and start pacing in her room thinking about your own feelings. "I have _never _felt the way I did when I was with you. Rach…God…you were so passionate, so…so _amazing._ When I kissed you it was because I wanted to feel _anything, _anything other then the sadness I felt this morning. My parents have really bad fights, Rachel. My father almost beat me this morning…I got shoved against a wall." You don't hear her gasp when she hears this. You are too busy pacing her room. "I wanted to forget. I wanted those images out of my head. And you were so great. I pushed you away and you didn't listen. When you hugged me, I just… I don't know…I didn't have to think about anything, I just let go and you caught me like you said you would."

You stop talking and turn towards her. You notice the tears are back in her eyes. You see her wipe them away before she takes your hands and pulls them against her chest. "Are you okay?"

You almost smile. Of course, of all the things you have said to her she picks up the bad things. "I am, because of you."

She smiles through her tears. "Did he hurt you?"

You think about telling her lie. You think about not answering that question. You nod. "It's nothing I can't handle, nothing I'm not used to, no biggie." You say, trying not to think about it.

You notice her frown. "Quinn, of course it's '_a biggie'_!" She almost yells at you. "Can you please show me where you are hurt?" she whispers.

"It's nothing b-." You start.

"Please." She whispers again.

You sigh and turn around. "My back."

You feel her staring at you, even though you can't see her. "May I?" She asks you and you only nod, knowing she'll see it.

You feel her fingers under the hem of your shirt and you feel her pull up your shirt ever so carefully. You pull the shirt over your head and hold onto it. You hear her gasp and you wonder how bad it looks. You didn't have time to check 'the damage' for yourself yet. You have been hurt worse in the past. You feel her come closer until you feel her breath on your neck. Her hands softly graze your sides. "I'm so sorry you have to go through that." She whispers against your neck before she places a soft kiss there.

You close your eyes at the contact while the grip on your shirt tightens. You feel her place another lingering kiss before she lets go again. She tugs at your waist lightly and you walk backwards until you are infront of her again. You see that you are almost against the bed and realize she's now sitting down on it. You are about to turn around again when you feel her fingertips tracing along your back.

"Does this hurt?" She asks.

"Not there no, just a bit sore."

"Where does it hurt?"

You don't speak and just point her where you feel the most pain coming from. You twist your arm around and point at your shoulder blades. Her fingers trail up and softly run over the place you just pointed her. "You have a nasty bruise there." She tells you. You are about to tell her that it probably looks worse than it is when you feel a pair of lips on your back. You lose your breath at the contact. You stand perfectly still as she places feather light kisses on your back. Her hands come to rest on your hips, it's as if she's trying to pull you even closer. Soon, her lips are covering every inch of your back and it makes you forget _everything _bad, just like it did this morning.

You turn around slowly and see her staring up at you with big sad eyes. "Noone should have to deal with this, Quinn." She sadly states.

You just nod your head. "It really doesn't hurt that much." You truthfully tell her.

You see her wipe away her tears again. She stands up and you see her hesitate to come closer. She finally takes a step closer and your foreheads are almost touching. You stare into her eyes. She smiles sadly at you before she pulls you gently into a hug. She's careful not to press her hands anywhere near your bruises. You are grateful for that but right now you just need her as close as you can get. You feel as if you are going to fall back apart any minute now. You just want to stay strong.

"Rach?" you say quietly into her neck.

"Yeah?"

"Please hold me tight." You ask her.

You feel her take a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." You tell her. "_Please_." You repeat when she doesn't respond.

Just when you think she won't do what you asked her, she tightens her hold. Her hands are on your lower back so she wouldn't hurt you. You sigh and tighten your own grip. You feel like you could stay in her arms forever. You would never have thought that Rachel Berry could provide this much comfort. That you could feel so at peace when you are with her. Your peaceful moment is broken by the sound of your cell phone.

When she hears your phone ringing she tries to pull away but you pull her back in. "They'll call back." Is all you say. She's back to holding you but this time one hand is softly running through your hair. You close your eyes at the feeling but the moment is shortlived when your phone starts blaring again. You groan and this time you let go of her instead. You walk towards your bag while putting your shirt back on and pull out your phone. You take a deep breath when you see who it is.

Dad.

**TBC**

_**A.N:**_

_**Do you all like the pace and how I'm writing the story?**_

_**I have the next chapter thought out. There will probably be a talk between Quinn and Santana. I might even add Brittany in it as well. Not sure yet. Have to think about that and go over the options of what can happen next.**_

_**All suggestions are welcome. Thank you for reading and reviewing.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you everyone for all the kind reviews you've send me. It's a real motivation to keep going. Also a special thank you to __Hashtags__. I tend to write the words out as I hear them. And since English isn't my first language, it's bound to happen that I'll make mistakes. So thank you, I'll keep it in mind for the next chapters!_

How did this happen?

**Chapter 4**

"Hello?" You answer as you lock your eyes back onto the brunette at the other side of the room. She's looking back at you with concern in her eyes.

"I'm at a friends's house." You reply. You cringe at the tone of your fathers voice. You can tell he's angry.

"No, I'm not with Santana and Brittany." He tells you that he saw them walking into Breadstix together.

"Daddy, I have other friends besides them." He's really not pleased at your tone and he tells you this. "Sorry, daddy. I know I should have called." You try to minimize the damage. You really don't want any fighting when you come home. You just want to be alone when you are home. You know you will need the time to sort out your own thoughts. That and you know you will be thinking about what you and Rachel did this morning.

"Okay, I'll be home shortly." You sigh when your dad orders you to come home. You hang up and put your phone back in your bag. "I have to go home." You tell Rachel who's still looking at you.

She nods. "Okay. Was he mad?"

"Yes, I didn't tell him I wouldn't be home straight from school. Don't worry about it."

"He's not…he's not going to hurt you, right?" she asks you.

Although you aren't really sure, you truly hope he wasn't going to give you a hard time about it. "Nah, I don't think so. I should've called." You tell her. No need to make her worry over nothing. "And hey, it's probably for the best, right? We can think things over at our own pace." You tell her. She did tell you she needed time to process things.

"What about….how are we…I mean…" Rachel stutters out.

"Look, we'll just talk to each other on Monday, okay?" You tell her. That gives her, and yourself for that matter, the whole weekend to think this over. Not that you think you'll be doing a lot of 'thinking things over' more then you will probably just be thinking about what happened in the locker room.

"Will you come and find me at school?" She asks you shyly.

"I will." You tell her. "I hope …" You stop talking.

"You hope what?"

You shake your head. "Nothing. I'll wait until Monday." You take your bag and look around to see if there is anything else you brought, even though you know that you only brought your bag. You don't really want to leave to, you stall as much as you can. "Okay, so... Monday."

"Monday." Rachel smiles softly. "Be careful, Quinn." She tells you. "And if something happens… I mean, you know, with your dad…please just come back and we'll figure something out."

You smile at her. And now you just know you won't feel any different on Monday. The way this girl makes you feel. It makes everything seem so much better, knowing you'll see her soon again. Just two days and you are back with her at school. School doesn't seem so awful anymore all of a sudden. "Nothing will happen, I'll see you on Monday."

"Okay."

"Okay." You reply and you hesitate. Do you hug her, do you kiss her? You need some kind of contact before you can leave but now you don't know what Rachel wants.

Rachel seems to think the same but pulls you in a hug anyway. You sigh and wrap your arms around her again. It's such a wonderful feeling, you don't know how you went through your days without them. "Bye, Quinn." She says before she kisses your cheek.

You smile. "Bye, Rachel." You really think about kissing those lips again, you know you want to. But you decide to give Rachel her space and let her think things over first. You don't want to force things on her.

You walk away and as soon as you leave her house your chest feels so much tighter. The burden on your shoulders feels so damn heavy. You know you have to go home though. So you dreadfully walk to your car and make your way home. You just hope to get some peace there. As much as that is even possible.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You don't know when or how it happened, but, you are actually glad you are back on your way to school. Well, to be honest. You _do_ know when it happened. That locker room will probably forever be engraved in your memory. And not in a Cheerio related way.

Over the weekend you thought a lot about it. And you briefly did regret the place where it happened. You felt bad because you do wished it would have been anywhere else. But then you thought about the passion and the person who possessed said passion and you are back at feeling wonderful about it. But during all of this, not once did you think that what you did, was with the wrong person. So screw that it was on the locker room floor. It was just amazing!

When you got home on Friday your dad had yelled and lectured you on and on about his house and his rules and all that crap. You just let it overcome you. You nodded when you were expected to nod but other then that you thought about Rachel. It made everything better that way, even it was only helping a little bit that time.

The rest of the weekend you spend locked away in your room. You heard your parents fight again on Saturday but tried with all your might to block it out. You hoped your mother wouldn't get hurt again. Even if she doesn't seem to care about you, you don't want her to ever get hurt. It is your mother afterall.

It makes you mad that your father uses his fists to get a point around. Or maybe he just uses them because what the other person tells him is true. Maybe that way he can shut the other person up more effectively. You feel powerless because there isn't much you can do about it. By the time it's Sunday morning you are back at feelings utterly miserable.

Your dad yelled at you again and again. But this time you snapped and yelled back. You didn't do anything to deserve being yelled at in the first place. You had stayed out of the way and let them be. He just yelled because he wanted to yell, because he _thought_ he _could_. You yelled out your frustrations then. You got mad as well. Everything that was build up came out. You were afraid for a second when he came running towards you. He didn't hit you though. He just pushed you away and slammed the door to his study shut and didn't come out until hours later.

You had cried when you were finally sure they were both asleep that Saturday evening. You cried because you were thinking about your father and his angerment problem. You prayed that you wouldn't turn out like him, because you know that when you are truly angry, you also have a problem dealing with it. You know you can lash out but hold onto the fact that you have never laid a finger on anyone. You may have pushed people away before but you never had assaulted anyone with your fists.

While you didn't think you would actually ever do it, ever hit anyone, you know you have Santana to thank for it. She always seems to be there when you get angerment problems. She's always around to make sure you don't cross that line. You felt like you should thank her, felt like going over to her parents house, you just wanted _someone_ with you. Because, even though you have your differences, Santana is always there in your hour of need. You decide right there that you would let the people who care about you know that you care about them too, that you appreciate them. That you love them even.

You just wanted to be held, wanted to be surrounded by people who love you, people who show you they love you. People who you know truly care. And then you were back at thinking about Rachel. How you wish you could run to her and hold her. You never felt more alone then you felt that evening. Before Rachel, you never knew passion, you never knew what it was to let someone take care of you. But now that you do know the feeling, you would have welcomed it, you craved it.

You are back on your way to school and couldn't be happier about it at this point. You just want to see Rachel, you _need _to see her. You thought about going back over there a couple of times over the weekend. Just to seek comfort in her arms. But you did promise her the weekend so she could sort out her own thought and feelings.

You run towards the entrance of the school. And you power walk inside, up to Rachel's locker. You are upset that you don't find her there. You wonder if she's at school yet. You wait for her to show up but she never does. The bell rings and you miserably walk to your class. She probably was in class already when you arrived.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Santana and you have a free period that morning, which you are glad about. You make up an excuse so you don't have to stay in the library and make your way over to the locker room. Santana comes your way in the hall. She was probably on her way to the library herself.

"Hey, where are you going?" Santana greets you.

"Hey, San. I didn't feel like staying in the library." You honestly reply.

"You okay?"

"Not really." You say. You predict she can tell by the look on your face anyway. You are tired because the weekend has totally drained you out.

"Your parents?"

"Yeah." You sigh. "Want to come with me?"

"Sure." She says like you know she would. Being a Cheerio has it's advantages, when you skip free periods at the library, you just say you had to practice when someone questions you about it.

You both make your way over to the locker room. Knowing that noone would be there at this time of day is why choose to go there. You walk in first and go sit on the bench in the middle of the room. Your mind briefly wonders back to Friday. How you wish you could stay in that daydream. Wish you could just stay in there forever because reality sucks at the moment. Santana remains standing and looks at you, waiting for you to speak.

You take a deep breath. "They fought the whole weekend." You tell her.

She nods. "How bad was it?"

You shrug. "Been worse. A lot of it was my dad, as always. Constantly yelling about his rules and his house and all that shit. The shouting just didn't stop, San." You sadly tell her. Your head hurts just thinking about it. You rub your temples, trying to ease the dull pain.

Santana comes closer and sits next to you. You know she does it to be close to you. To let you know that she's there for you.

"It was awful…" You think about it again. "I wanted to come to you this weekend."

"Why didn't you?"

"Well, you and Brit just made up an-"

"Q, you know you can always come to me, _always_." Santana says. "To me _or _Brit."

You smile at her. "I know. And I just, I don't know, I don't know why I just didn't come over. I guess I just didn't want to get in trouble again with my father. I did do a lot of thinking."

"About?"

"San." You start and you turn more to her to face her. "I know we don't normally do this or even talk about stuff like this but it's important to me that I tell you this." You tell her. "It's important that you _know_ this."

"Okay…what?" She looks confused.

"San, I just…thank you, thank you for always being there for me."

"I…of course, Q."

"This weekend was a hell, San. And I started thinking. I just don't want to take this, your friendship and support, for granted. I want you to know that I care about you. And I can't thank you enough for being there for me, even when I'm at my worst. Well, _especially_ when I'm at my worst."

"Quinn, are you really okay? Where is this all coming from?" Santana asks you, concerned.

"I don't want to end up like my father, San. This weekend I couldn't think of anyone that my dad is truly friends with. Or anyone he is truly friendly with. He managed to chase away every friend he ever had. I think most of his friendships ended with a fight. So, I wanted to tell you this. I wanted you to know in case I ever let my anger get to me and say or do things I will regret."

"Quinn, you're not going to lose me."

"But what if-"

"Okay, stop it. You are _not_ your father!" She tells you, gripping her hands around your arms, holding them tightly. "And you would _never_ hurt me. You would never hurt me, or Brittany or anybody else. Not _like_ _that_." She shakes you slightly to get her point across. "We all get into fights some times, Q. But we always fix our problems. We fix them without violence. Yes, we treated people badly in the past but we made those wrongs right again, we apologized and were lucky to be forgiven. We did terrible things but we never hit them, Quinn. You are _nothing_ like your father." She tells you, that last sentence spoken slowly, making sure you would hear that part.

You feel the tears coming in your eyes. You try to stop them by taking a deep breath. "Thank you." You say again.

Santana nods again, letting go of your arms. "And hey, I love you too, you know?"

You smile and nod. "Okay, I didn't say I _loved_ you." You smirk, the talk was way to heavy and you needed to make it light again, much much lighter.

Luckily Santana always seems to get you right away. "Pffft… girl please, with a body like this, who wouldn't love me?"

You laugh out loud for the first time in what feels like forever. You can't believe how fast time flew by, it's almost time for your next class. You both stand up and turn to each other again. Santana looks nervous before she talks again. "While we are still in this weird talky mood… I care about you too, and I'm also grateful to have you as my friend." She tells you sincerely.

"Hug?" You ask her.

"Oh what the hell, why not?" She laughs and crashes against you in a bone breaking hug. You couldn't be more thankful though. You both walk out and back into the hallway. You feel much better now.

"Hey guys." You smile when Brittany runs towards the two of you. She jumps into Santana's waiting arms and kisses her. "Hey hun." Your heart warms when you see it display before you. You see Santana's whole demeanor change. You see her become like a totally different person when she's with Brittany. You can tell she's really happy she has her.

"Hey, Brit?" You say. Brittany happily turns around and looks at you, waiting for you to go on. "I love you." You don't say it very loud but you make sure she hears it. Sure, you had said it before. But you don't think you ever said it first. You always just replied it when Brittany told you she loved you first.

Her whole face lits up at your words. "I love you too, Quinn." She smiles widely and jumps forward. You laugh and throw your arms around her.

"Alright, alright, that's enough, hands of my girl." Santana says in an playful angry tone, pulling Brittany back against herself. She looks from Quinn to her girlfriend and smiles as well. "In case I don't say it often enough. I love you, so damn much." She almost whispers to Brittany.

Brittany lets out an earsplitting squeal, so loud that you think the whole school heard it. You don't care though. You don't care that, for once, you let down your cold exterior. You don't care that people can see those moments of affection take place. You are glad you did this. You feel loved and it's a feeling you want to keep. It's what you want. You want the people you love to see another side of yourself.

**TBC**

_A.N:_

_All suggestions are welcome (really, really welcome). Because I'm not really sure where this is going, I have some things I still want to see happen but other then that..._

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	5. Chapter 5

How did this happen?

**Chapter 5 **

By the time it's noon, you still haven't seen Rachel. That means that she's either not at school, which you doubt, or is avoiding you, which you suspect she is doing.

You look over to the table she is usually sitting at and notice she isn't there either. Everyone is there but _her_. You hesitate before going over to them. They look up at you when they notice you coming. They all stop talking and wait for you to speak. You remember that you still haven't apologized to them for Friday. You had been really rude to them. "Hey." You start saying. "Euhm, has anyone seen Rachel today?"

"Why?" Mercedes immediately asks you. "Why do you need to see her?" You can tell that Mercedes's defenses are up, she's ready to stick up for her friend.

"I just need to talk to her." You say softly before you sigh. "Look, I'm sorry I was rude to all of you. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you guys. I'm sorry."

They look at you and each other for a long time before anyone of them replies. They were having a conversation without words. "Okay. Apology accepted." Kurt finally says. "And Rachel is at the nurses station." He adds.

This surely alerts you. "What? Why? What happened? Is she okay?" You ramble out.

"Wow, not the reaction I expected." Mercedes speaks, mostly to herself before turning to you. "She wasn't feeling well this morning. She had a splitting headache and went to rest."

You breath deeply. "Oh…will you please ask her to come find me when she's back?" You ask them. Part of you just wants to go find Rachel yourself. Wants to go see her at the nurses station. But, at least now you know she's at school and that she will know that you are looking for her when she comes back.

"You'll be nice to her, right?" Kurt asks you.

"Of course I will. I just need to talk to her…I promise."

"Okay." They all smile when you nod and walk away, out of the lunchroom. You can't eat right now anyways, not until you have spoken with her. Not until you know her decision or her feelings about the whole matter.

You are aimlessly walking around. That is until you are infront of the nurses station. Your walking and thinking about Rachel has brought you straight to her. Should you go in or not? Would she even want to talk to you? You're scared about her answer. Your hand rests on the doorknob. You take another deep breath before walking in quietly.

You figure the nurse is probably on her lunch break as well because you don't see anyone at the desk. You spot Rachel on a bed in the back of the room, her face turned to the wall. "Rachel?" you whisper out as you take another step closer. As you come closer you hear her soft breathing. She's asleep. You smile. You realize that you have missed her. It's a weird feeling, because it's Rachel afterall. You missed Rachel Berry over the weekend.

You kneel behind her and watch her sleep. She looks so peaceful. Just looking at her makes you feel so much better. Ever so carefully you brush a fallen strand of hair from her face. You freeze when she stirs after you accidentally caress her face with your finger. She lets out a content sigh but doesn't wake up. You smile again. Rachel is so adorable. Right now you feel like you could watch her sleep forever. The things this girl makes you feel…you can't even describe.

After a while you notice the time and sneak back out, leaving her be. You hope she'll come and see you later today. And you hope she brings good news because you just _need _to know her thoughts.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's almost Glee and you still haven't heard Rachel. You are bummed out because you saw Mercedes earlier and she asked you if Rachel had come to you yet. Meaning that she was already back in her classes but chose not to come talk to you. You fear what's coming when you do see her.

You are walking towards the music room when you spot her coming from the other side of the hallway. She looks up and stops walking when she sees you.

You smile at her but that smile quickly drops when you see her make a run for it, she's quickly running into the bathroom next to her. As if she didn't see you, which you know she totally did.

You follow her in. "Rachel?" You ask when you see her standing near the back wall. "Are you okay Why did you r-…?"

"I'm fine." She says quickly. She points towards a closed stall before you can say anything else.

You can almost feel yourself growling because somebody else is in there with you and Rachel. You can finally talk to her and you don't want to waste another second. You stride towards the toilet door and pound on it. "Get out now!" You holler. You hear scrambling at the other side of the door and a toilet flush. A girl, probably a freshman comes out and runs towards the sink to wash her hands. "Are you fucking kidding me, wash your damn hands somewhere else!" You shout, walking towards her. "Leave." The girl squeals and runs out. You lock the door after her.

"That wasn't very nice, Quinn." Rachel tells you when you turn back around to face her. "We could have just waited for her to come out."

"I know. But I really need to talk to you." You know it wasn't nice but you really could care less about that girl right now, you didn't know her anyways. She'll get over it, you figure.

"She was scared, Quinn." She tells you.

"I'm sure she'll get over it." You answer. "Are you feeling better?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine. I mean I still have a headache but it's better." Rachel replies. She looks really uncomfortable so you take a step closer to her. She takes another step backwards when she notices this and you frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She rapidly replies. To quick for your liking.

"Then why do you keep walking away from me?" You tell her as you take another step closer resulting in Rachel taking another step back as well. "I've been looking for you all day. Were you avoiding me?"

"I … I wasn't feelings well."

"Yes, I know, during lunch." You tell her. "I asked the others where you were and they told me. Were you there all morning?"

"No."

"Okay." So she was avoiding you, you conclude. "So, you _were_ avoiding me then."

"Quinn, I …"

"No, it's okay, I guess we don't really need that talk afterall then, huh?"

"It's not that, I mean, I need…"

"Look, Rachel, It's fine. I mean, I knew this could happen."

"Will you just lis-"

"I _said_ it's fine, Rachel. I should've known earlier anyways, with you avoiding me." You tell her, you try not to raise your voice and you most definitely try to let the hurt in your voice known. "This was clearly a mistake." You say once you have turned around. You unlock the door and get out of the bathroom as fast as you can, leaving Rachel behind.

You really didn't want to go to Glee today. Really, _really_ not. But then Brittany came and made you promise to come because she wanted to dance with you. You really wanted to tell her that you wouldn't dance today anyways. That you didn't feel like dancing. But then you would have to explain yourself as of why you were feeling bad again and that wasn't an option either. The talk you had with Santana had been enough explaining for one day.

You suspect that Santana already knows something's up again because she was looking at you in a weird way. You put on your poker face and went on with your day. You arrive first in the classroom when Glee comes, for once noone is there yet and you pick a seat in the corner of the class, last row. Brittany and Santana come in a little later and join you. Brittany is immediately hugging you because she's glad you showed up like you promised her. And probably still because you told her you loved her earlier.

You are talking to them until class starts. You try to tell yourself that you didn't see Rachel walk in, that you don't notice that's she's already in class with you. But who are you kidding? You can feel her every move and you can feel when's she's watching you. It makes you slightly uncomfortable. And most importantly, it makes you want to look back. Maybe you should have let her speak before. Listen to what she wanted to say. But you ran away before she could really say anything important. You mentally berate yourself for leaving her.

You try to have fun. You try to sing along. You try to dance with Brittany like you promised her. At one point you even tried to dance your troubles away. That plan ended as soon as you came in contact with skin you've gotten to know really well a couple of days ago. After that, you are a goner. Your eyes had met hers after that contact. Her eyes had sought out yours and you're angry with yourself that you couldn't break that eye contact sooner. You can't concentrate anymore and just sulk the rest of the class. You are feeling miserable for yourself.

The class ends with you scrambling your things together. You are nervous to get away. So nervous that you drop your stuff. You bent down to pick up your crap when a hand comes into your vision. You watch it pick up your stuff and look up to it's owner. Rachel hands you your things silently. You don't say anything and really want to get to your last class of that day. You just want to get away from her at this point.

"Quinn?" You hear your name being called out. You sigh because you _almost_ made it out, you are standing in the doorway when you hear her sweet voice. You say nothing, but remain standing. "Please, come meet me after school in the auditorium. Maybe you can let me finish what I wanted to say." You hear her say. You turn around when you don't hear her anymore. She had walked out through the other door.

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	6. Chapter 6

_I'm not so sure about this chapter. Something doesn't feel 100% right. But since it's been a while since I've updated…_

_Hope you all like it._

_Thank you everyone who's sticking with the story!_

How did this happen?

**Chapter 6**

It's the end of the day. The bell has just rang and everyone makes their way out of the building. Everyone _but_ you. You go in the opposite direction. You make your way over to the auditorium. You walk slower then usual, you didn't know what Rachel was going to say. But you promised yourself to at least listen and talk things out, even if Rachel's decision isn't what you wanted in the end. Better to have her as a friend then not at all.

You arrive at the auditorium and walk in through the backdoor, leading you straight towards the stage. You spot Rachel immediately on the big podium. Not hard to do when the only thing on it is her and the chair she's sitting on. She's at the middle of the stage and is staring into space. She obviously didn't hear you come in.

After you spend a moment just staring at her, you walk closer towards her. You are behind her but she still hasn't noticed you. She's so deep in thought that you hesitate to get her attention. You softly place your hand on her shoulder to make your presence known. The sudden touch startles her and she jump up quickly, sending the chair tumbling over to the floor.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

You notice, same as you did earlier in the bathroom, that she's creating a distance between you and herself. You don't move and just stand still, watching as she paces around nervously. You wait. You don't know what to do. She asked _you_ to come meet _her_, so that's just what you'll wait for. You just watch as she paces while keeping her gaze on you. It feels as if she's trying to see right through you. That the answers she wants or needs are written on your face. You swallow as she finally does come closer to you.

"Rach." You start again, you have to try something, _anything_ to make her talk to you.

Her eyes jump up frantically. "Stop it."

"I'm not doi-…"

"Just stop talking" She starts again, holding up her hand. "And stop looking at me like that." She adds with a wave of her hand. She's really all over the place. Emotions flying across her face. You are at loss at what to do, you have never _ever_ seen her act like this. Sure, she's known for acting dramatic but this sure tops it all.

"Rach." You try again. You stop talking as her eyes jump up again, staring into yours.

"I was perfectly fine before Friday, Quinn! I was completely happy the way I was and then you..."she trails of, pacing nervously around again. If it wasn't for your name being said by her, you would have thought that she was talking to herself. You stand still and just listen to her rambling on.

"God, I feel like I'm going crazy, I really can't believe how you are fine with this. I can't think straight because you occupy my every thought! And don't think I didn't notice your staring, I noticed and felt every look, Quinn Fabray!"

She's chaotic and you really try to follow her rambling. "People don't look at me _like that_, Quinn. Hell, they hardly ever even notice me at all. But now, _you_ are _looking_ at me and…I just don't know what to do, I don't know what I want…And then Friday happened and you and I, oh god…" You feel like you need to say something, to stop her from talking. You just don't know how, it seems like she's about to lose it.

"I had sex with you, Quinn!" she almost screams. "Me, Rachel Berry." She says pointing to herself.

You are _so_ thankful that you are the only ones there at the moment, and that you didn't have this conversation anywhere else earlier. "You were naked…God, I made you…" you see her blushing furiously at the thought, it makes her stop talking temporarily before she snaps out of it and begins to ramble again. "…and now, I mean, it's as if you actually want this to go on…it …it…" She strides closer to you and stares, back to reading your face again. "Do you?"

You almost forget that she asked you a question under her intense stare. "Yes." You whisper. She looks so fragile. You feel bad that you made her feel like this.

You see her hesitating, she wants to ask you something. Something that's clearly bothering her. "Is this a set-up?" she finally asks you in a whispered voice.

You are a little stunned at her question. You're sad that she even thinks this. But, you guess you should have seen it coming, you didn't do anything to earn her full trust. Before everything happened, all you did was apologize, make amends. You were distant friends, distant but friends nonetheless. You swallow the hurt and answer her question. "Rachel, I promise you, what I'm saying is true. This isn't a joke, there's no cruel plot. It's just me. And I really do want to find out where this is going, if that's what you want as well."

"Why?" She quickly replies. "Why would you want to be with _me_?" You now know what had been her biggest hurdle in all of this. She can't believe that you would want to be with her. And, of course, you know why she would think that, your past with her wasn't pretty afterall. "I'm nothing special."

"You are." You whisper. "You're _so_ special."

"This isn't some cruel joke?" she asks you again with a small scared voice. "Santana isn't going to jump from behind the curtain with a camera and slushie in her hands?"

God, you can't believe you ever were such a bitch to her, to anyone. Throwing insults and slushies at people, it makes you sick now, your disgusted with yourself. You step closer and take Rachel's hand in yours.

"Rachel, I promise you that this isn't a cruel joke. This is real, real to me. There's no scheme, Santana isn't behind the curtains, there will never be another slushie in anyone's hands, not to throw with anyways. There is noone here besides you and me. I just really do want to see where this could go.

"Okay." She tells you, softly squeezing your hand.

"I meant what I said, Rachel." You tell her again. "I think you are really special."

"You really think that?"

"Why would I lie about that?" you tell her.

"I don't know…I'm so confused." She replies, and she looks up to you again. You notice the look in her eyes, she's trying to hold in her tears, she's trying to stay strong. You see all kind of emotions on her face. But one look makes you miserable, she looks scared.

"You're amazing, Rachel." You start, trying to calm her down. "Like I said on Friday. You are passionate, sweet, caring and God, you _are_ _beautiful_. I'm so blessed to even have you as a friend after all the things I did to you. But after Friday, I can't stop thinking about you."

"Really?" She sniffles, the tears that she was trying to keep in slowly rolling down her face.

You nod. "Everything is different now, Rach. Different in a good, wonderful way. My heart feels warm now and it's all because of you. And I could just turn away from those feelings, ignore what I'm feeling, but I don't want to." You step closer and wipe away her tears with your dumb. "This feels way to good. But I am sorry about one thing though."

"About what?" Rachel asks with a small voice.

You take another step closer to her and are glad that she's not pulling away again. "I'm sorry that I never noticed how great you truly are. I'm sorry I didn't look sooner to to see how beautiful you are. Because you are, very much so."

"Thank you." She whispers with a tiny smile on her face. "What happens now?"

"Well, what do you want?" you ask her. You see her hesitate to speak again. "I promise you that whatever you want, friendship or otherwise, I'll respect your decision, I'll still be your friend." You add, letting her know that you will be there, no matter what.

She stares at you when you state that last sentence. She's back at looking intense and you notice her eyes lowering. "Can I try something?" she whispers again.

You pretty much know what she means by the way she says it and the way she looks at you. "Yes."

At first she doesn't move, she just keeps staring at your lips. But then, ever so slowly, she comes closer and fills the gap, her eyes closing right before her lips meet yours. Her hands come to rest on your cheeks as she moves her lips. You softly moan at the contact and return the kiss gradually. You briefly wonder what she is thinking but then you feel her press closer and decide that this is a good thing. The kiss is slow but oh so good. You feel like this could easily become one of your favorite things to do. She slowly backs away, her eyes still closed and her hands now resting on your shoulders.

"And?" You ask her when she finally opens her eyes again.

"That felt really nice." She admits.

"It did."

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hellow everyone! First of all, thank you for all the kind reviews, it's what keeps a writer going. I'm posting this chapter because it has once again been a while. It's kinda short but I hope you will all like it nonetheless. _

_I really need to come up with an actual plotline for this story. I can't just keep writing random things without have a "goal", so all ideas are very much welcome and appreciated!_

_Oh and just to clarify, Rachel and Finn aren't a couple in this story. If they once where one…not sure yet, haven't made a decion yet._

_Well, that's about enough of my rambling I think. _

_I wish each and everyone of you a happy new year. May all your days be filled with kindness and warmth, for you and your family._

_Thank you and 'till next year _

_J._

How did this happen?

**Chapter 7**

You and Rachel are laying on the floor of the auditorium. Arms pressed together as you are laying next to each other. You're both enjoying the silence and calmness. The auditorium is a nice place to be in, you like the whole room. You have time to look at it now. All the other times you had been in there, you were working on a dance routine or song with the other Gleeks.

You don't know how you went from standing to laying down but it was nice. You and Rachel had sat down after the kiss and started talking. You figure one of you went to lay down and the other one followed. You turn your head to look at the girl next to you and smile. You blindly reach for Rachel's hand and grasp it softly.

"Shouldn't we head back?" You ask her when she looks at you. "Isn't the school going to be closed soon?"

You see her shake her head. "No, on Monday the basketball team has practice, school doesn't close until around eight."

"Okay."

Rachel squeezes your hand softly before turning her head again. You watch her close her eyes and sigh in contentment. You look back up as well, your mind going to your hand holding hers.

"This is weird." Rachel says, breaking the silence.

You turn your head again, her eyes are still closed. "What is?"

"This." She says, lifting your joined hands. She opens her eyes again to look at you. "You and me, holding hands." She clarifies.

"You think it's weird?"

"You don't?"

You think about it. Sure, maybe, you don't know… "Maybe, but weird seems such a negative word. Can't we say that this is…new?"

"Oh, it's definitely new." Rachel laughs. "And I didn't mean for it to sound negative". She adds.

You smile. "Good."

"I still can't believe how you are okay with this though."

You let go of her hand and prop yourself on your elbow so you can look at Rachel better. "A few weeks ago I probably wouldn't have been. But…I denied myself a lot over the last few years. I don't want to turn away from what makes me feel good. I don't want to do what everyone else wants me to do anymore."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks as she takes your other hand, that was resting on your side. She brings it over to rest on her stomach, where her own hand had been laying before. You stare and feel her soft skin under your hand. She feels so warm and soft, even through her clothes.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry." You blush. "I just… I don't want to end up like my dad. I feel like I was becoming him. And I really hate him for all the things he's put us through. I don't want to lose everyone who cares about me."

"You won't."

"I would have in the long run." You explain. "I really needed to change myself. It didn't happen overnight but I'm trying to be a better person."

"You're not a bad person, Quinn."

"_Really_?" You ask, raising your eyebrows. "How can you say that, after all I've put you through? I was horrible to you." You whisper that last part, you still feel really guilty about all of that.

"You were, but you apologized." Rachel tells you. "Most people don't do that."

"I'm going to be a better person. I'm not going to end up like him." You tell her, determined.

"You're already a pretty nice person, Quinn." Rachel smiles as she tells you this. "So, don't change _too_ much, I like this version." She puts her hand firmly around yours, making your hand press down more on her stomach. You flex your fingers, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin.

You nod and smile widely at her words. It feels nice, coming from her. You're really happy with the way things are going.

"Can I ask you something?" Rachel asks you.

"Of course."

You see her hesitate before starting her question. "If someone else had followed you… in the locker room that day, do you think, I mean, what if…what if it would have been Puck or Sam? Do you think that you would have…would you…-" Rachel stutters.

"Rach? Are you asking me if I would have had sex with them?"

You see Rachel nod her head shyly.

"No, I wouldn't have."

"And if it would have been a girl?"

Rachel is really nervous all of a sudden. You think it's kind of endearing. "I'm pretty sure I _was_ with a girl in there." You laugh quietly. "A warm, passionate, _shirtless_ girl."

Rachel blushes even more at your words. "If it wouldn't have been me?"

"I _really_ didn't plan for that to happen. But, no, I don't think it would have happened if it would have been another girl." You tell her honestly.

"So, you're…?"

"Am I gay?" Rachel nods again. "I guess so, yeah. I've known for a while that I was attracted to girls more then boys. I mean, I like boys and can admire a shirtless guy just like anyone else, but I just don't like them in _that_ way."

"If someone told me weeks ago, that I would be holding hands with you, I would have told them they were crazy." Rachel laughs.

You smile as well. "I probably would have said the same thing."

"Can I ask you something?" You ask.

"Sure."

"Rachel, I just want to tell you again and I know my past speaks against me but, did you really think I would go this far with a set-up? I mean, like you said, I was naked, very _ver_y naked and tha-…"

Rachel holds up her hand and interrupts your speech. "I know, I'm sorry, I was just up all weekend making up all these crazy scenario's about what this could be…"

"Well, please trust me when I say that this isn't a joke to me. I'm really serious about this." You tell her again. "This is real, as real as the _orgasm_ _you_ gave me."

And there it is, Rachel's blushing again, all shy. You know that you didn't really needed to include that last part but you couldn't help it. It was the truth anyways. You look at Rachel as she puts her hands over her face. "God, Quinn, you can't say stuff like that."

"What? The truth?" you smirk as you move closer to Rachel, who still has her hands on her face. You take her hands and move them away from her face. "I like it when you blush." You tell her as you lean in closer. You move your hand to Rachel's face and move a strand of hair out of her face, gently putting it behind her ear, your hand coming to rest on her cheek.

You see Rachel swallow at your closeness, her hand moving closer to your own face before she drops it again and instead lets it rest onto your arm. Her grip tightens as you move in closer. You cup her cheek and lean in the final inches to kiss her. You press your lips softly against hers and let the feeling take you over once again.

You are about to move away because you don't feel Rachel's response when she suddenly pulls you closer to deepen the kiss. Your stomach is being pressed against her side and your leg becomes to rest between hers. Moans are being muffled though kisses and your hand is now grasping her side as you try to move even closer. You kiss her with such fever that it surprises yourself. How a simple kiss can make you feel like this. You would have never thought this but, man, Rachel Berry is one heck of a kisser.

When breathing becomes an issue you pull away slowly, you peck her lips a couple of times before pulling away more. You see the way Rachel's chest is moving up and down as she tries to catch her breath. Your gaze moves to her face again, her eyes are still closed and her lips are slightly swollen. When she opens her eyes they immediately search for your own. You smile warmly at her. She looks so shy now when moments ago she pulled you almost on top of her. "You're a really good kisser." You tell her.

She looks at you as if she didn't hear or believe what you just said. You see her cheeks become red again, more then they already were from your make-out session. Her hands fly back on her face. You are confused as to why she's _this_ embarrassed again. "Rachel?" you try to pull her hands away but she won't let you. "Are you o-"

"I'm fine." She tells you as she pulls her hands away again. "Really, it's just that… we're kissing, your flirting with me and it's just, I don't know, it's …"

"Weird?" you ask knowingly, she's been saying it a lot afterall.

"Sorry." She tells you.

"Don't be." You tell her, you figure that if this is what she feels it's upto you to prove her otherwise. "You don't have to be embarrassed, Rachel. You're just saying what you feel. I just wonder…is this, _us_, going to be _too_ weird for you?"

She seems to be taken aback by that question but doesn't answer is either. You hope that she will overcome her fears and that this "weirdness" she feels will go away. You look at her and just wait for her answer.

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Happy New Year everyone! First of all, thank you _again_ for all the kind reviews, it's what really keeps me going!_

_And you all will be pleased to know that... I think I have come up with a plotline! _

_Shocking, I know. I hope I can really deliver it though. 'Cause, it seems that, what I have planned out, may take a long time to form out into a story. I hope I can make it. And that I can do it justice._

_Some stuff you should now:_

_Rachel and Finn = Never happened_

_Quinn and Finn = Never happened_

_Quinn pregnant = Never happened_

_I'm not following the actual timeline from Glee either, things may happen in my story that have been in Glee but I'm not going to be doing them in the right order._

_That's all for now. _

_Thank you,_

_J._

_PS: __Disclaimer__: I own nothing! Glee isn't mine!_

How did this happen?

**Chapter 8**

Your heart dropped when Rachel finally replied. She said that she wasn't sure. You didn't ask what part she wasn't sure about, hearing her say it once was more then enough for you. You hoped that she would have told you that things would work out, that she's sure about this, as sure as you are yourself. But...she didn't.

You momentarily felt anger when she said those words. You feel angry because this _is_ real to you, why can't she see that? Why can't she see that you really mean it? You tell yourself to calm down. Because as much as you want to act on your first feelings you try to put things in perspective. You don't try to fall into old habits. You understand why she is cautious, you understand that her walls are still up. You understand but...

You have an internal battle with yourself. You try with all your might not to lash out, to not let your old selve out, the one that used to try to protect yourself with harsh words. You had opened up, you _had_ let _your_ walls down, but it's hard when you feel vulnerable. So, you try to put the anger into something else.

You put it into accepting. You accept that Rachel isn't fully ready for all of this. You accept that she is guarded. And you accept that the anger you felt is just a reaction because you really want to this to work. In the past you always had gotten your way, well most times anyways. But now... you can't force someone to be with you.

But all Rachel needs is time. It's a lot to take in. A lot had changed in the last few days. You and her had been trough so much together, and not just in the last few days. You won't give up. Not until she clearly says the words, not until you hear it from her that she doesn't want this.

Because Rachel isn't saying no. That much is clear to you. It's clear because she hadn't said such a thing, you know she would have if it was. And it's also clear to you because Rachel is still there with you. She's still laying next to you, your arms are still even touching. She's waiting, waiting for you to respond. Something you know isn't easy for her, because Rachel Berry likes to talk, she _needs_ to talk. Your glad that she somehow gets your internal battle. Your glad that she gives you time to compose yourself.

You feel her eyes on you as she waits. You lie there next to her, tense. Your fingers are clenched into a fist. Something you do when you try to control your emotions. You take a deep breath. You feel Rachel's hand on your closed fist, her fingers prying your hand open. You let her, you let her take your hand, you let your fingers lace together.

"Please look at me." She asks you, her voice soft. You take another deep breath and do as she asks you. Your eyes meeting hers, you notice her concerned look. "I'm not saying no, Quinn."

You look at her, try to clear your emotions. You feel like you are on a rollercoaster. "Okay." You stutter out. You slowly compose yourself. Your not even sure _why_ you feel the way you are feeling right now. Why it effects you this hard? "Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Quinn." Rachel immediately responds. "I mean it, Quinn, I'm not saying no nor am I ending this."

"You mean that you want to...I mean, that you want...-" you stutter like a fool. Why are you acting like this? You feel so stupid right now. Rachel starts talking when she notices you can't seem to find your words.

"What I'm saying is that, yes, I feel weird about this but no I don't want to take rash decisions and do something I know I'll regret later." She tells you.

"But you said you weren't sure...?

Rachel nods before speaking. "Quinn, you and I made a complete 180 in the last couple of days. The course of our relationship went from almost none existent to the beginning of ... well _this_." She motions between the two of you with her hands. "And it just happened so fast and it came so out of the blue, _so_ out of nowhere... so yes, I'm not sure if the weirdness I feel right now will go away just as fast . But I want to try _this_ if you will just give me some time to adjust when I need it_._"

"I will." You softly reply. You're sure your ability to speak is totally gone after what she just told you. You're relieved at her words, she's not giving up on you, it's weird, people wanting to stick around to get to know you like this. Not that you actually think you cared that much before. But you guess you must be doing something right afterall. "What does that mean for us _right_ _now_?"

"Well...want to know something else I find weird?" Rachel laughs.

You smile back at her. "What?"

"You flirting with me and complimenting me or like before, you leaning in to kiss me all felt _so_ weird to me...but then, when you are actually kissing me, that doesn't feel weird, you know? That's really nice." Rachel blushes.

"So...?" You ask, not really knowing what that truly means about the "status" between the two of you right now.

"So, I wouldn't stop you from kissing me in the near future." Rachel smiles shyly. "I need you to promise me something though."

"Anything." You say maybe just a little to quickly, a little too desperate... but you'll do anything right now.

"I promise to talk to you when I feel weird about something or when something bothers me, but I need for you to do the same with me. I want you to talk to me, okay?"

"I will." You nod.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

And just like that Rachel and you were fine again, you went on with talking about all kinds of things, things that matter and things that don't. You find that talking to her is easy, she listens to your ideas and opinions but also honestly tells you when she doesn't agree with something you say.

The two of you have fallen into a comfortable silence at the moment. You're still laying next to each other, arms still pressed together, your fingers playing with hers.

You look around the empty auditorium again, it's actually a really nice place, it's beautiful. "I never realized how cool the auditorium really is, it's pretty." You say, breaking the silence.

"I must say, I've never looked at it from this angle either." Rachel tells you as she looks around as well.

"Really?" You ask her, you're eyebrows shooting to your hairline, you really find that hard to believe. Rachel Berry? Not knowing every inch of the stage?

Rachel is about to answer when her phone beeps, she says sorry before pulling it out of her bag, her demeanor changing for a fraction of a second as she reads it. She puts it back away without replying. She turns back to you, smile back in place and goes on talking.

"I'll have you know, Quinn, that yes, I spend a lot of time in here but no, I've never laid down on stage _just_ to look around."

"Well, I'm glad to have been here with you then."

Rachel smiles at you and checks her watch. "We should get going, school is closing in half an hour."

"Is it that late already?" you ask in astonishment.

"You won't get into trouble at home will you?" Rachel suddenly asks you. "I mean, with you not being home yet?"

"No, my parents went to a work party, they probably won't be home 'till after midnight."

"Okay." Rachel says, before sitting up.

You feel pain shoot through your back when you try to do the same. Laying down wasn't a good idea it seems because your back is now sore and stiff.

"Quinn, are you okay?" she asks you, her hands immediately flying to your arms, to help you. "Is it your back?"

You take a deep sharp breath. "Yes, laying down on such a hard floor wasn't a good idea."

"I'm sorry, Quinn, I shouldn't have l-"

You stop her from talking by putting your hand up. "It's fine, Rachel. I didn't think of it either."

"Okay, hold on, I'll help you up." She says standing up. She comes to stand behind you and you feel her arms going under yours.

"Ready?" She asks you.

"Yes."

You push your feet to the ground as she pulls you up. And damn, that hurts, you're back is so stiff right now. It really hurts. "Fuck." You hish out.

"You okay?" Rachel asks you again as she comes to stand before you now, her eyes full with concern.

"Yes, just really stiff."

"You should take a warm bath, it'll help." Rachel suggests to you.

"That sounds really nice, Rach. But we only have a shower at home."

"I have a bath." Rachel blurts out. "You should come take one with me."

"What?" You laugh out.

Rachel blushes again. "Not _with _me, I meant, you should come home with me so _you_ can take a bath, _alone_, while I'm not in the room with you."

"You sure your dads won't mind?"

"Of course not." Rachel says first. "I mean, maybe…maybe we can just tell them you are coming over, to hang out…not that you will be taking a bath with me" She says again. "_NOT_ with me." She shouts out immediately after, her hands flying back to her face. "God, what's the matter with me." She mutters from behind her hands.

"I knew what you meant, Rachel." You tell her. "It's fine." You tell her, taking her hands away from her face again. You take one of her hands in your own.

"You'll come with me then?" she asks you, her eyes hopeful.

"Yes." You reply with a smile.

"Great!" She tells you with a squeeze of your hands. "Let's go then."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Your body hums in delightment when you are laying in the bath Rachel drew for you. It's amazing and it does wonderful things to your sore body. You so wish you had a bath at home cause it's great to relax like this. You feel like you could fall asleep like this. You only now notice how tired you are. Your body seems to melt under the heat and your muscles enjoy the warmth.

You had met Rachel's dads. You have no doubt in your mind that they didn't know exactly who you are. Or more, what you used to do to their daughter. They totally knew but…they were still really nice to you. You see where Rachel gets it from. Rachel just told her dads you were coming to hang out with her and asked them if they could put her dinner aside. And they agreed, without further questions, they just smiled at Rachel and said okay. So this is what it feels like to have nice parents? You know that would never happen for you.

You parents have to know everything, especially when you bring someone over. Even when it's just Santana or Brittany, who've been there loads of times, they still fire question after question at you. Especially your father, who thinks he has right to know everything you do because it's _his_ house and you're _his_ daughter.

You let yourself slide under water, trying to forget all the bad things that you have going on, you try to drown all your sorrows away. When you need to breathe, you go back up. You decide there and then that you want a house with a bath when you finally get your own place. Oh, how you wish that day was here already but alas, you still are at school nor have the money to move out and into a place of your own.

You hear soft music coming from Rachel's room, that's linked to the bathroom you are in. You notice the time and are shocked at how long you have been laying there. You sigh and slowly stand up, taking one of the towels Rachel had laid out for you. You slowly dry yourself off, enjoying the peace this house brings.

No shouting, no fighting, no need to hurry yourself because you are afraid of what your father might do to your mother when you are not there to stop him. Nothing, only soft music coming from Rachel's room. You put your clothes back on slowly, taking your time. You notice that your back is indeed better after the bath you just took. It doesn't hurt that much anymore. You take the smaller towel and drape it around your hair.

You tidy up after yourself and dry out the bath with your towel. You hang it on the towel rack to dry afterwards. You take a last look and nod to yourself, the place looks good again. You open the door and walk into Rachel's room. She looks up from her place on the bed, where she seems to be reading something.

"Hey." She smiles at you.

"Hi." You reply as she walk closer. "Watcha doing?"

"Oh, I'm going over the song Finn and me are going to sing for our Glee assignment."

"I'm not keeping you from practicing am I?"

"Pfft, please, I know this song by heart! I told Finn to rehearse 'till he was happy with his part of the song and told him we would rehearse it together a couple of times before performing it for Glee. Have you finished yours?"

"Not really… I don't actually like the assignment." You shrug.

"Why not?"

"Sing a song that means something? I don't know, it's hard, especially 'cause I have to sing it with Santana, who's not really known for opening up either. We're not a good match for this assignment."

"I see…I'm sure you'll do great though. You have a nice voice, Quinn. I really like it."

"Thanks." You reply shyly. You look at Rachel, expecting her to say something else about it. You basically just told her that you didn't really have a song yet to sing. And the assignment is this week.

She notices you're staring "What?"

"Nothing…I just thought you would have said something more about it."

"Do you want me to say something else about it? Do you want me to ask you what song you're going to sing or how far you are to completing it?"

Okay, so Rachel did have other questions, that much is sure. But she's not asking them because you have trouble with it. It's nice, she's not pushing you.

"I guess not." You tell her honestly.

Rachel nods and put her papers away. "Wanna come sit with me?" she asks you as you are still standing at the back of her bed. She's already moving over so you can sit next to her.

"Sure." You walk towards the other side and sit down. You pull the towel, that had been coming loose, away for your hair and put it around your shoulders. You sit down, run your hand through your hair a couple of times and turn towards Rachel. You're about to ask what she wants to do next when you notice her look. She's looking at you really intently all of a sudden. Her eyes seem to have grown in size and she has this crazy look in them. You wonder what happened? Why is she looking at you like that?

"What's wr-" your words are being cut off by a hand in your hair and lips covering yours. You're surprised by her actions but return the kiss almost instantly nonetheless. She deepens the kiss quickly and pulls at your neck to bring the two of you closer. Well, you're definitely not going to complain about this…

**TBC**

_Once again, I apologize for any mistakes in this chapter! English isn't my first language..._

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	9. Chapter 9

How did this happen?

**Chapter 9**

Damn, Rachel Berry sure knows how to take control. Not that you mind of course, you love every moment of the sweet torture she's giving you. She had pushed herself onto you, making you fall back onto the bed as she's kissing you. Really, _really, _kissing you. Her tongue just left your mouth as she makes her way over to your neck, licking and sucking on it like there's no tomorrow. It's creating a friction within you…you can't even think. The leg she slipped between yours sure isn't helping your wild beating heart. "God, _Rach_." You groan out when she finds a sensitive spot on your neck

Rachel freezes at your words, her lips and hands stop all movement as she leaps of the bed. "I'm sorry!" She almost shouts. "I'm _so_ sorry, I don't know what came over me."

You try to focus, you really do but it's hard considering the state you are in right now. "It's o-…okay." You softly tell her as you try to calm down. Because that was really intense. And, it was _more_ then okay.

"I'm sorry." She repeats. "I don't know what…I just … I have never seen you like this before…, you're wet." She rambles as you move closer to her, crawling over the bed towards her side. "Argh, no!, not _wet_, I mean… your _HAIR_ is wet, not you." Her face is as red as your cheerio's shirt. "I mean…I like it, I'm sorry, I have no idea what is w-"

You pull at her shirt and kiss her again, this time you're the one who stops her from talking. You press your lips together but don't deepen the kiss. You pull away after a few moments. "You were rambling…"

"I attacked you." She tells you, her eyes flying back open after the kiss.

You laugh. " I would hardly call that an attack, Rachel." You say as you move back over to your side of the bed, making room for her to join you again.

" I'm s-"

You stop her again, holding up your hand. "Don't say that again." You don't want her to feel sorry, especially not over something like this.

"But…"

"It's fine, Rachel." You say again. "It's was really, _really_ nice."

"Oh…" she says as she takes in your words, her face turning slightly red again when she realizes what you just said.

"Yeah…want to come sit back down now?" You ask her, looking down at the empty space next to you.

"Okay." She says, as she slowly sits back on the bed, as if she's not trusting herself.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Just like before, Rachel and you are laying down. This time in a warm, soft bed instead of the hard floor of the auditorium. Your arms touching again as you lay in silence. The silence being broken by the sound of Rachel's cell phone, indicating she has a text message. She says sorry before turning to take her phone and reading the message. You hear her sigh and turn your head because of it. You see her shake her head faintly before she puts the phone back down, without answering whoever just texted her.

She lays back down, and turns to meet your gaze. You both lie there, just looking at each other.

"This is nice." You tell her as you grab her hand again.

"Yes, it is." She replies with a smile.

"It's so quiet here." You say after a while, you're sure you could fall asleep any moment now. If it wasn't for Rachel being with you, you would have already fallen asleep by now.

"What do you mean?"

You turn your head away from her gaze. "No fighting parents, no shouting, nothing being throw around the house or breaking down." You feel Rachel coming closer to you when you are talking. You don't look though, you just keep staring at the ceiling.

"Does that happen a lot?"

"Yes." You wish it didn't, but it seems to have become the story of you life.

"And you hear everything?"

"Yes." You say again. "I hear everything, _every_ _single_ _time_." Rachel's arm comes to rest over your waist. "I can't remember when I last slept in peace for an entire night. I constantly wake up, afraid that they would be fighting again, afraid that…_he _would hurt mom again if I'm not there to stop him."

"You shouldn't try to stop him, Quinn. I know that must sound awful but you could get really hurt by him if you try to stop it."

"I know, I _have _been…but it's still my mother, you know? She doesn't seem to care two cents about me but…he shouldn't be hitting her…" You feel a tear rolling down your face as you say this. The feeling overcoming you once again, the movie playing behind your eyes. You move your arm to put it around Rachel's waist so you can hold onto her. You _need_ to hold onto her. It helps you stay grounded. "He shouldn't hit _anyone_…"

"No, he shouldn't." Rachel agrees with you. "I'm really sorry you have to go through that all alone."

"I wouldn't want anyone else having to go through this with me." You faintly hear Rachel's phone beeping again but she doesn't move to get it. She stays right next to you, holding on to you. "It just never stops, Rachel." You tell her, moving your head to meet her eyes, she's so close to you. Her eyes immediately locking onto yours. You can tell she's trying to hold back her own tears. "It never stops, Rachel…and… I'm _so_ tired." You whisper.

Rachel nods sadly and leans in again. She softly kisses you as you feel more tears roll down your face. Her hand comes up to touch your face as she blindly wipes the tears away, her lips still grazing yours. She pulls away slowly, looks at you and you burst out crying. She pulls you closer as you bury your head into her neck, hiding away and seeking comfort from her when you cry. You let out tears that have been locked behind your eyes for ages.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You slowly wake up but aren't bothered to open your eyes. You're still really tired and have a dull headache. Probably from crying the way you did. For some reason you are really comfortable though.

You try to focus. And that's when you feel it.

You are lying on someone. And said someone is running a hand softly through your hair over and over. Your heart speeds up a beat. You open your eyes and the first thing you notice is that you are lying on her chest. Your look around without moving your head and see that she's watching tv, without sound. She had put on captions so you wouldn't wake up from the noise.

She's so considerate and you feel really content just laying with her. You sigh, and move closer, pulling at her waist. Her hand stops moving and you feel her head turn towards you. She probably can't see your own face though, you're laying to close for her to be able to see you.

"Quinn?" She whispers softly.

You move your head and rest it on the side of her neck. "What time is it?" you ask.

You feel her move her head again to the other side as she checks her clock. "After ten."

You groan. You really should get going. You don't want to leave the comfort of her bed and the warmth of her body but you have to get home. You _have_ to be there. So, you pull away slowly, you let go of her so you can look at each other. She smiles softly at you.

"Hey." She says as her eyes meet yours.

"Hi."

"You okay?"

"Kinda…I should get home though."

"You sure you're up for driving when you're this tired?"

"I _have _to go home…I'll be fine." You try to reassure her. "Besides, I just slept for over an hour, I should be fine to drive home."

"You slept restless."

You nod. No surprises there. "I always do… especially during the first hours of sleep. I'm surprised I slept this long without waking up earlier."

"I'm glad you've gotten _some_ sleep."

You just nod. And move so you can put your shoes back on. You feel her move away as well as she gets of the bed and walks around until she's standing near you. You take the rest of your stuff and finally look back at her when you are ready.

"I'm ready." You say as Rachel nods and opens her bedroom door. You quietly walk down. You don't know if her dad's are still awake or not.

You stop Rachel just as she is about to open her front door. "Rach?"

Rachel turn and looks back at you. "Yeah?"

"Thank for…" you don't know how to say it. You don't know how to thank her for everything she did for you. The comfort, the listening, the just being there for you, letting you sleep on her… How do you thank someone for doing that? You're not used to it. Not in the way you just experienced it. It's very different from the ways Santana and Brittany comfort you.

"You're welcome." Rachel smiles.

You shyly smile back. "See you tomorrow." You say as she opens the front door for you to walk out.

"Be safe." You hear Rachel say, you turn around again and see her smile when you do. You give her a tiny wave before turning back and walking to your car. You feel cold already, and not just from the temperature difference. You sigh and get home.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You rush to school even though you slept really bad. You have a splitting headache and you're sure that if people really look at you they will be able to see that you spend half of the night crying. And after only a couple of hours of restless sleep you gave up.

You walk towards Rachel's locker and see her already standing there. You wonder why she comes to school so early every day. You look at her and see that she has her cell phone in her hands. She has a frown on her face as she's staring at the screen. But then she looks up as if she feels you coming and immediately smiles when she sees you, her phone quickly disappearing in her pocket.

"Good morning, Quinn."

"Hey, Rachel." You reply as you come to stand before her. "I wanted to see you before class…erm, t-thank you…for last night." You whisper.

"It was nothing, Quinn." Rachel tells you. "I'm glad I was there to make you feel better…I mean, I hope I did…" she tells you unsure.

"You did, I'm sorry for being a total wreck the whole night and then falling asleep on you."

Rachel almost smiles. "You were welcome to stay…" She tells you again, just like she did last night. But you _had_ to get home, you had to be there. And you didn't tell your father you would be gone anyways, you didn't want to give him more reasons to be angry.

"I wish I could have stayed."

Rachel nods. "This may sound really bad, but it was nice…I mean, I wish it were under different circumstances but I liked it, you and me, together like that. You falling asleep in my arms…" Rachel blushes.

You can't help but feel good about her words. "Did you find it weird?"

Rachel looks surprised by your question. "Actually, no…that didn't cross my mind once." She honestly tells you. "I just wanted to be there for you, make you feel better."

"You did." You tell her. She was there for you. She didn't judge you, she didn't try to tell you that things would get better. She just held you and whispered soothing words into your ear. She was there, calming you. And then you had to leave that safe nest because you had to go '_home'_.

"Were your parents home already?"

"Yes, but _dad_ didn't give me a hard time…he was working late and my mother…well let's just say she didn't really notice I was gone." You lower your voice as you speak, you don't want other people to overhear your conversation with her.

"And your back?"

"It's better, that bath really did miracles." You tell Rachel with a smile.

"You are welcome to use it any time you want." Rachel smiles back proudly.

"Thanks…and I promise I won't always be like that."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks with a frown.

"A crying mess you have to take care of." You whisper.

"Quinn, please don't feel bad about that. We all have bad days, we all need to let it out at one point." She tells you as she comes closer to you so only you can hear her words. "And I'm glad you told me, I'm glad I was there. I _wanted_ to be there, Quinn."

"You were great."

Rachel smiles and is about to say something when you notice Finn running towards the two of you. "Rachel!" he smiles happily but then frowns when he sees you. "Hey… Quinn." He says warily before turning back towards Rachel.

"Finn." You nod in acknowledging.

"Everything okay?" he asks her.

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" You snap. "Because I'm talking to her?"

Rachel cuts in before Finn can reply. "Hello Finn." Rachel smiles warmly at the boy. "Yes, as you can see, I'm fine." She says touching his arm to assure him.

You slightly feel your mood go sour at it. But Rachel is just being her friendly selve you quickly tell yourself. She just being nice to one of her best friends. And Finn is just looking out for her which you should be grateful for. You just don't know if you appreciate it when it's aimed at yourself.

Finn seems happy with Rachel's reply. "I'm happy with my part of the song." Finn says with his boyish grin.

"That's great!" Rachel says, her whole face lighting up at the words. "We _need_ to rehearse after school then and possibly tomorrow before and in-between classes…" Rachel rambles. Finn's own face changing as he hears how much time Rachel wants to use to rehearse their song. "…it will be great!"

"Do we really need to rehearse _that_ much?" Finn asks Rachel with a hopeful hint in his voice.

"Of course! It needs to be our absolute best!." She tells him. "We'll meet tonight after Glee to start rehearsals, okay?"

"Fine." Finn replies grumpily. Rachel doesn't seem to notice it though or she's choosing to ignore it. You smile inside at the scene. Rachel is so focused and passionate when she's talking about music. Well, she's passionate about a lot of things she does, you remember.

"See you later, Quinn." Finn tells you with a smile before he runs away.

"Bye." You grumpily nod as Rachel turns back to face you completely.

"Finn didn't mean anything by that." Rachel quickly tells you.

"_Sure_ he didn't, I know what he _meant_, Rachel." You reply. "But it's fine, I deserve it." You do, right? Everyone must be wondering why you are hanging around Rachel that much all of a sudden. "Class is about to start." You add before Rachel can say something else.

"Yes, I just need to take my books." She says as she turns towards her locker to pull out her books.

"Here, I'll carry them for you." You say as you move to take them from her hands as she closes her locker. She turns to you, her demeanor changed.

"Quinn…" she says shyly.

You laugh when you know _why _her behavior changed. "Really?" You ask amused. "_This_ you find weird?" you ask raising your eyebrows. Of all the things that had happened between the two of you, this she finds weird? Something simple like this?

"I…"

"I guess walking you to class is out of the question as well then?" You ask knowingly. This girl is so strange. It really does amuse you.

"Sorry... I ju-"

"It's fine, Rachel."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asks you.

"Of course." You tell her. "Why wouldn't it be? You think it's weird and I accept that." You smile. "I'll see you later, right?"

"Of course!" she immediately replies.

You glance around you, the hallway almost empty and quickly peck her on the lips before she has time to respond. "Bye." You whisper as you turn on your heals and start to walk away. You smile to yourself as you turn the corner, catching a last glimpse of Rachel's face. She stares after you in shock before running towards her class as surprised her with the kiss, you know you did. But, it happened so quick, she didn't even have time to think it was weird. Score for Fabray!

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello everyone!_

_Talk you all for your kind replies. I'm glad you like this story! Another shorter chapter right now and kind of a filler. But it needed to be done. I'm not 100% happy with the result. Something seems to be off and I wasn't sure how to fix it. Hope you all like it nonetheless._

_Thank you._

_J._

How did this happen?

**Chapter 10**

.Tired.

Not sleeping and constantly being kept busy isn't a good combination. Coach Sylvester has you tied to her like a magnet. She demands you to be there at her every beck and call. She absorbs almost every free minute you have. You barely managed to go to Glee yesterday because the coach kept going over new strategies and routines. And during practice she makes you run extra laps to show why you are captain of the cheerios. To prove that you are worthy of being called that. Being captain has a price afterall.

But even though it's all really hard and exhausting it's better then being at home, you guess. Hell, everything is. You feel less guilty if you really _can't_ be home. If coach demands you to stay after school, then it's something you _have_ to do. And you don't have time to worry about what could be happening at home in those moments. You wish you could find some kind of balance in your life though. But how can you? It's not like you can ask your parents to make a schedule with times they are allowed to fight with each other.

So, for now, sleeping is kept to a minimum. You know your parents are being worse then other times. It comes and goes and right now they are fighting almost every day. It's exhausting. You hate it. You wish you wouldn't care that they fight. You wish you could just leave when they fight. But something inside you demands that you stay and endure it. Something tells you that you have to be there in case something gets out of hand. In case _he_ lashes out at your mother and hurts her. The next couple of days you will have to fight to stay awake until you can face plant yourself into your bed, hoping for some peace and quiet.

To make things worse, you haven't seen much of Rachel either. At first you thought she was avoiding you after you kissed her in the hallway. But then you heard her and Finn arguing over planning an extra practice for their duet and you knew Rachel was just being Rachel. You watched her storm away in true diva style while she yelled for Finn to follow her. She didn't notice you watching at all. You smirked at the sight though. Finn being yelled at by Rachel made you feel surprisingly good. You knew Rachel would keep practicing until she was happy with the result. And by the tone in her voice they were far from achieving that goal.

You finally spotted Rachel alone on Wednesday. She was walking down the hall, phone pressed to her ear as she seemed to be in an unpleasant conversation. You had noticed this a couple of times before now. A lot of times she has a frown on her face when she's texting or calling with whoever is at the other end of the line. You asked her about it and she told you was having an argument with her father over game night. The second time you asked her what was wrong she told you she was having trouble with a friend. But when you asked who it was, she wouldn't tell you. Instead she quickly changed the topic when you tried press further. You stopped asking. You figure she will tell you when she wants to talk about it.

So instead, you tried to ask her what song her and Finn would be performing but she wouldn't tell you that either. Her face transforming into such a radiant smile that would keep you going for days. '_Wait to be amazed, Quinn Fabray'_ was all she said. You mostly had to be content with shy glances and texts at night for a couple of days. You don't mind, it's the best thing of your day every time. You miss her though. Texts nearly aren't enough for you anymore.

Almost everyone at Glee had finished their assignment. And _everyone _was shocked that Rachel hadn't been the first one to be ready. And every person in Glee could tell that Rachel herself wasn't happy with that fact either. Santana and you had finished your assignment yesterday and had performed it infront of the class. Even then you could barely keep your eyes open.

You both didn't put much effort in it, in_ any_ way. You had chosen a song you both liked and then came up with a story why you sang that song together. Schuester bought it…Rachel didn't. She wasn't pleased with you after Glee. She told you to put more effort in those assignments. Saying it was important and you should take it seriously. You could barely stop her from waltzing over to Santana and telling her the same thing. You knew Santana wouldn't appreciate it, _at all_. And you knew Santana would have started asking questions about you and Rachel. So, you stopped Rachel and the few minutes you did have together were spend in her lecturing you. Not that you minded, you would take that over what you had to endure at home any time.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Your sitting in the cafeteria, barely able to remain from laying your head down on the table. You notice Santana watching you. You had actually noticed it a couple of times today. The first few times you looked up resulted in her quickly looking away but now, she's not even trying to hide the fact that she is staring at you.

"What?" You finally ask her.

"Your spending the night at my place this weekend." She tells you.

You panic. "Santana, I can't!" You whisper with force. You can't be away from home. Not when things are _this_ bad there. Not when they are fighting so badly. And you know that Santana knows. Santana always knows. You get tired from lack of sleeping and Santana knows that things are bad at home because of it. She knows you need sleep desperately.

"You can and you will." She decides. "Brittany will be there as well and it will be fun." She tells you, totally ignoring what you just said.

You lean closer. "I _can't_, my parents a-"

"Grown ups who have to deal with their own shit." Santana interrupts you. "Look at yourself, Quinn. You're fighting to stay awake." Santana whispers. "I'm worried about you."

"But…Santana…"

Santana sighs. "It's only one night, Quinn." Santana tells you. "One night and then you can go back home if you want to."

You really are tired and sleep would be so welcome. You're grateful that Santana is looking out for you. You're even thankful that she has a way of 'ordering' you to do things for your own good.

"Okay, I'll stay." You tell her. The words are barely out of your mouth and you're already scared of what will happen at home during that night. Santana can tell you are having an internal battle by the look of your face.

"Everything will be okay, Quinn."

"I hope so."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

It's Thursday and you're dying for it to be weekend. You're actually craving a peaceful night of sleep. You are so tired that you don't even have it in you to power walk through the halls of Mckinley. In fact, you're pretty sure that if you walk even slower you will be going backwards.

You turn the corner as you are walking towards Rachel's locker. This has become your new morning routine. You're always hoping to catch a glimpse of the brunette before school officially starts. She's there, you see her.

She's pacing while, she once again seems to be in a heated conversation with somebody on her phone. You're too far away to hear anything she says but the expression on her face tells you she's not happy. You walk faster to get there. "We can't remain friends if you keep acting like this!" you hear her hiss into her phone as you're almost behind her.

She turns around before you can fully reach her. "I have to go." She says before hanging up and quickly makes her way towards you. "Hi!" she happily says as she comes to stand before you. Her whole face changing in one second from sad and somewhat angry to happy. You're glad to have that effect on her but you wonder what was wrong. And more, _who_ was she talking to?

"Hey…everything okay?" You can't help but asking again. "That didn't seem to be a happy conversation."

"Oh, that, …it was nothing." She quickly tells you. "I'm happy to see you."

And she's changing the conversation again. Why won't she tell you? Is it someone you know? You're so going to ask her about it later! But for now, you smile. "I'm happy to see you too."

Her smile grows at your words. "Guess what!" She asks in excitement.

"What?" you ask in amusement.

"Finn and I finished our song!"

"That's great, Rach."

"We're performing it tonight and I can't wait for you to see it." She nearly shouts from happiness. She seems very giddy.

"Does that mean you'll tell me what song you will be singing then?"

"Of course not!" She tells you seriously. She seems a bit shocked that you even dared to ask such a question. "It will ruin the performance!"

You laugh at her expression. "Okay, I'll wait."

"It's going to be great!" She says, almost jumping up and down from contentment. "I have to go find Finn now and tell him to meet me before Glee to go over the song one more time." She says.

"Okay."

"See you later." She says as she jumps closer and pulls you in a quick hug. And then you feel her lips touch your cheek as she places a kiss there. You can't remember ever feeling this happy. "Bye." She says before she skips down the hall in search of Finn. She _kissed _you. It was only on your cheek but still. It was a kiss that _she _gave _you. _And all you can't think is, she didn't think it was weird!

If only you knew that the one person that made you this happy would be the same person to cause you so much pain later that same day…

**TBC**

_I know! I know! Pure evil! But, it seemed to be a 'perfect'end to this chapter. And drama has to happen at some point. I'm just planting the seeds with this chapter...But don't worry, I'm a sucker for happiness!_

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	11. Chapter 11

How did this happen?

**Chapter 11**

You're tired as hell but still happily make your way to Glee. It's the last class off the day. Only a short Cheerio's practice after that and then you are finally able to go home and hopefully catch up on your sleep. You walk in the room and, like you suspected, Rachel is already there. She's talking to Finn, obviously about their upcoming performance.

While you used to think that Rachel was crazy for going all out on _every_ single assignment you now admire her for it. When she's passionate about something she'll make sure it works one way or another. It gives you hope somehow. As if she noticed you staring she looks into your direction. A smile appears on her face when she sees you. You see her say something to Finn before she makes her way over to you.

"Hi!."

"Hey, Rachel." You tiredly smile back. "You ready for your assignment?"

Rachel stares at you before she slightly smirks when she hears your question. "I was born to sing, Quinn. Of course I'm ready!"

"It'll be great." You tell her. And you know it's true. You always have thought that Rachel was an exceptional singer. You might never have said it out loud before but it's true nonetheless. "You're great." You add.

Rachel's face lights up again. "Thanks!" She smiles before she stares at your face again. "Are you okay?" She finally asks.

Should you tell her? Tell her that you haven't been sleeping well all week? That your parents have been worse then other times? She had asked before, during your nightly chats, but you never wanted to bother her with it. You don't want her to think you're nothing but a whiny person.

You notice Santana and Brittany walking in closely followed by the Puck and Mike. Everybody is here now, except for Mister Schue. You're about to answer Rachel's question when he walks in as well.

Rachel notices Mister Schue coming in as well but holds her gaze on your face, intently reading it. "I'm gonna …" Rachel finally starts, motioning with her hand that she's going back to her seat next to Finn. "We'll talk later?" She asks, her eyes not leaving your face.

"Sure." You smile. You wouldn't miss a chance of talking to her. You already missed to much of it this week. You don't want her to worry to much about you anyway. It's better if you talk to her after her performance.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Rachel has been jumping in pure excitement when Mister Schuester asked if they were ready for their assignment. You had smiled at the sight. Rachel is so cute when she's excited. You were happy to watch her.

_Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh__  
_

The happiness you felt quickly died away when they started singing though. You had been in high spirits all day. Happy because of that kiss Rachel gave you. And now you are feeling heartbroken by the same person.

You're trying as hell not to let it show that you are upset. Your hands are clenched into fists. You're watching Rachel and Finn perform a… love song. They are swaying together and looking at each other with so much passion. It breaks you. You don't know what to feel. You're pretty sure that, right now, you feel every bad emotion one could possibly feel.

Tired, exhausted, sad, angry, jealous, heartbroken...

_'Cause my world revolves around you_

_It's so hard for me to breathe._

Why are they doing this? Why is _she _singing a love song with _him_? Did you miss something? Had you misread the signs? Was all that happened a lie? Was this payback? Rachel's revenge for what you did to her in the past? Or was it just a really bad dream?

Maybe you shouldn't let it get to you. Maybe this was just really just a song. You try not to think the worst of it. But right now, you are dead tired. Rachel was the only good thing that kept you going and right now, you just can't think straight.

Oh you feel so angry at the moment. You're seconds away from going to Finn and smack that loving stare of his stupid large face.

_If you ain't here I just can't breathe  
There's no air, no air__  
_

No air, that's how you feel right now. Air… you're quickly running out of it. You take a deep breath as you see the two of them swaying together. Finn's big manly arm slung over Rachel's shoulder as they swing together.

You're glad that you didn't sit next to Santana this time. She would have noticed your attempts to stay calm. But you also feel stupid because you didn't sit next to her so you could view Rachel better during her performance. How it can sting this much is beyond you. She looks so happy, she looks…in love with Finn.

They end their performance and instantly everyone is up their feet, clapping and cheering for them. Santana and you are the only ones still sitting down, except for Artie of course. You seem to be glued to your chair in shock. And Santana…well she's probably too lazy to get up and would never admit if she really liked a song to begin with.

The rest of the hour you spend ignoring Rachel's stares. You know she's watching you… You notice the stares. She's probably looking to see if you are hurt enough by her song choice. You don't know how you managed to stay in there, when all you wanted to do was flee out of the room. You wanted to run outside so you could breathe again. Taking deep breaths could only help you for a short while.

Class ends an eternity later and you quickly grab your stuff. Santana and Brittany are already sprinting infront of you, followed by Puck and Finn. Why is everybody in a hurry to leave? Why is everybody in your way? You look at the other exit, the one near Rachel. Nobody seems to be going towards that one. You decide a moment longer and make a run for it.

"Quinn, what did you think?" Rachel's exited voice asks you as you pass her. Damn… Of course she saw you. Does she want to rub it in some more? Is that it?

"Leave me alone." You snarl. How dare she ask you that anyway?!

Rachel seems taken aback by your answer. "W-…what?"

_Keep it together, keep it together_. "Just…don't talk to me and leave me alone."

"Quinn, I don't understand, what d…-"

"Hey, what's going on?"

Kurt…great, just what you needed. You're about to explode. It's not going to be pretty. You try to hold it in. Really, you do. But having to sit through an entire hour has taken it's toll.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll walk away now." You try to calmly say. "Both of you." You say, looking back at Rachel when you say those last words. It seems to work. They don't walk away but they both shut up and just stare at you. You don't notice Rachel's disappointed face. You don't notice the confused look they both gave you. You just make a quick getaway while you can.

You quickly make your way towards the exit of the building. You need air desperately. You almost make it. You see the light shining through the big doors.

"Quinn!" Rachel's voice sounds behind you. "Stop running this instant!"

Damn it. Can't she leave you alone? She had made her point! She's with Finn. No need to rub your face in it any longer then she already has. Maybe she wants to tell you some more details about her relationship with him. Maybe she wants to tell you that you were stupid to believe that you actually had a shot at being with her.

"Stop walking away from me!" She all but shouts again.

You find an empty classroom and crash in it. You're about to lock the door when a panting Rachel sprints through the door as well.

Okay, so she doesn't want to leave you alone? Fine. Hope she doesn't expect you to listen! And if you explode, well, you warned her!

"What the hell just happened?" Is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.

The nerve she has! "What happened? _What_ _happened_?" You shout. "Don't act like you don't know what you did. Why did you follow me?" You ask, walking towards her. Probably not a good idea. "Want to rub it in some more?"

"Rub it in…?" She asks confused, mostly to herself. "Quinn, I…-"

"Shut up." You say again. "Leave before I do something I'll regret." You back up again, you make a space between the two of you. _You are not your father, you are not your father. _You keep chanting in your head. You didn't think you would actually ever hit her but you felt so angry right now, you don't want anything bad to happen. You would never forgive yourself.

"No!" she shouts back now. "I'm not going to leave. And I'm staying right here until I know what I did to make you this angry!"

"Like you don't know. Don't act so innocent."

"Why are you this upset?" She asks as she takes a few steps closer. "We were fine before."

"Stop walking." You tell her. "Don't come any closer."

"Tell me, Quinn." She pleads. "You promised me. You promised to talk to me when you were upset about something."

"Upset?" You repeat. "_Upset?"_ Here it comes. "I'm beyond upset, Rachel! Why couldn't you just tell me? Is this revenge for w-?"

"Revenge? Quinn, what on earth ar-…"

"Your relationship with Finn! How happy you are to be with him!"

"Me and…" You watch Rachel's face. Wow, she's a good actress. "The song." She whispers. "Oh my god, Quinn! I am _not_ with Finn!" She closes the gap between the two of you with a few steps.

"You don't have to deny it."

"There's nothing to deny." She urgently tells you. "It was just a song, Quinn. Just a song! You have to believe me. I wouldn't do that to you! I'm not-…"

"A bitch like me?" you ask.

"That's not was I was going to say!"

"Because that's what this is about, right?" You almost murmur. "Revenge for all I did to you? I admit to have feelings for you and then you tell me in a big show that you are together with Finn."

Rachel looks stunned. Tears appear in her eyes. She's still acting right? Playing with your emotions?

"Finn is my best friend, Quinn." She tells you. "And I would never do what you just accused me off." She sniffs.

You feel your resolve breaking. You mind screams to stay strong.

"Yeah right." You weakly say. You have to get out of here. You need to think. You need air. _Anything_.

"It was just a song." Rachel repeats.

"Just a song?" You ask again. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that? After what you and I …. I thought we were getting there. I thought you were coming around…I'm hurt, Rachel. You hurt me. And I'm upset and damn it, I don't even know if I'm even allowed to be upset!" You're pretty sure the whole school heard you shouting.

"You _have _to believe me." She tells you.

"How could you do this to me? How could you…I though you had forgiven me? I thought we … I need to leave." You conclude but Rachel is infront of you as soon as the words leave your mouth.

"No, please." Rachel cries. "I swear. Finn is my best friend, that's all."

"I have practice." You're closing yourself off, the walls are going up. "I'm already late."

"No, you have to let me explain!"

"I don't have to do anything."

"Yes, you do!" Rachel desperately tells you. Was she telling you the truth? Was it just a song? Or is she still messing with you?

You walk backwards again. Too many emotions are floating through your head and you are really too tired to deal with them all. You rub your temples, trying to release some of the tension you feel there.

"I was just a song, a _performance_."

Again she tells you this. You hear it and you want to believe it. Your fists are hurting so bad about now. Your nails have sunk so far into your skin that you are about to bleed.

"You hurt me." You softly say.

"I'm _so _sorry." She whispers right back and she takes another step closer.

"Please, leave." You ask again. "I can't take it anymore."

Rachel shakes her head and wipes her falling tears.

"I have to go." You say as you walk past her. Coach will already be on your case for being late.

**TBC**

_Sorry for any mistakes that were still in the chapter. I did re-read it a couple of times..._

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you again for all your wonderful comments. And thank you to 'PPP' for telling me about online spelling check. I actually didn't know internet offered free spelling check websites. And since I don't have a beta, I'm now using one of those websites! So thanks for the tip._

_Does anybody know if you can replace a chapter without it removing reviews already made on that chapter? I would beta all the previous chapters and make it somewhat more error free! But I don't want to do that if it means I lose all the wonderful comments I already received._

_This chapter would have been longer but I just don't have that much time anymore this week/weekend. And I don't want to take longer then a month in between each chapter/update._

_So, because of that the chapter is posted now. Hope you all like it._

**How did this happen?**

**Chapter 12**

How you survived practice is beyond you. You barely made it on time. And that's because Sue was later then usual herself. You slacked your way through it. Santana's worrying eyes were on the you the whole time. She told you she was really worried that you would pass out.

You took ages in the shower. You only got out when the water started running cold. Santana made you promise that you were really okay before she wanted to leave. She also made you promise to talk to her during your sleepover with her. She knew that something was up. You just hoped you could blame it all on your parents.

You weren't sure if you wanted Santana to know about everything that happened between Rachel and yourself. You didn't even know if Rachel had told anyone. And you didn't know anymore if there was even something to tell at all.

You may have overreacted earlier. Maybe Rachel was telling you the truth? Maybe you should have really listened to what she was saying instead of stubbornly refusing to hear her. Because, Rachel wouldn't do that, right? She would never be that mean to you, to anyone, _right_? You just…god, you need to sleep. Nothing more, you_. need. _sleep_._

You slowly get dressed before you make your way back to the locker room. You're happy to have the place to yourself. No nagging Cheerio's, no loud talking, no nothing… You walk back into the locker room and see Rachel sitting on a bench. The moment she sees you she shoots up from her seat.

"Rachel, w-…"

Rachel interrupts you by holding up her hand. "Oh, I think it's best if _I _talk first, Quinn." She all but snaps.

You swallow and remain silent.

"Listen to me, Quinn. And _listen_ _good_." She quickly says. "I swear that there is _nothing_ between Finn and me. We're best friends, _just_ friends, nothing more. We chose that song because we both liked it and it soothed our voices. It wasn't because of what the song represented! I meant when I said that I wanted to give us a chance. To see where this would lead us. I would never hurt you like that, I would never cheat!" She breathlessly rambles.

"Don't…" you start.

"And quite frankly, _you _hurt _me_, Quinn. The way you acted, you should have just asked me or talked to me but instead you were rude and almost aggressive. _Next time_ I won't put up with it. You will talk to me like a normal person and you will no longer be rude to me or my friends, _our _friends. Got it?"

You don't know what to say, you just nod dumbly.

"I'll be waiting for your apology."

With that she turns on her heels and leaves you alone in the locker room. Wow, you never heard Rachel talking like that, ever before. Was what she was saying true? Was it all in your head? You quickly run towards the door of the locker room but find that the hallway is already empty and that Rachel is nowhere to be seen anymore.

You just can't deal with this right now, you _need_ sleep.

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You wake up early. You slept bad, but what else is new. You did catch some sleep, more then you did the previous nights. You figure that you were so damn tired that you just actually slept because your body was spend. It makes you feel somewhat refreshed. You're still really tired but at least you feel like you can think straight again.

And because you can think straight again you can only conclude two things, you are a big jerk and you messed up really bad.

You had been laying awake for hours, thinking about what happened between Rachel and yourself. You have been such an asshole. The way you acted, the things you said to her. You can't believe what you had been thinking the day before. Rachel really didn't give you any reason to explode like that. You acted like she cheated on you when in fact you weren't even really girlfriends. You didn't know what you were but she didn't deserve the way you reacted.

You glance at your clock, 5.30am. You might as well get up. You know you won't fall asleep again anyway. You think about ways to make this up to Rachel. Even if you have to fall on your knees and beg her for another chance. You would do it. You feel so bad. Why couldn't one thing go right for you?

You need to talk to her. You need to apologize as fast as you can. By the time you are ready It's 6.15am. You know Rachel is already up by this time. You take your phone in your hands, scroll for her name and are about to call her when you decide against it. You need to do this in person.

You need to talk to her, before school. You need to fix this. You grab your keys and run downstairs. You, for once, don't care about your parents. You don't care what they might say and you don't care that they might fight when you aren't there. Well, you try not to think about that last part anyway. Or you would probably change your mind and stay afterall.

You make your way towards Rachel's house. You pull up in her street just in time to see her dads leaving. You know they would be gone around this time. You're glad they won't be here for this. You don't want to face them. Knowing Rachel, she probably told them about what had happened.

It's 6.30am when you get out of your car. You briefly wonder if Rachel would be really awake already. It's really early, probably to early to go knocking on people's door. But you know that Rachel would be awake, she had told you about her punctual morning routine. You're about to disturb it though but you don't care about that right now. You need to fix it.

You ring the bell and knock on the door a few times. You take a deep breath and realize that you actually have no idea what to say. Is it too late to run away again? Yes, it is. You hear the lock up the door being turned.

"Daddy, did you forget your key a-…" Rachel is shocked to see you, that much is sure. "Quinn…, what are you doing here?"

You gawk at her. You clearly disturbed her work-out. She has a towel wrapped around her neck, her forehead is a little sweaty. Her shirt is clinging to her body and she has on the shortest pair of shorts you have ever seen. Damn…

"What are you doing here?" She repeats.

You swallow again. Right, you had a mission. Fixing this. "Can I come inside?" You ask.

Rachel holds the door protectively. As if she's afraid your going to burst in no matter what she says. "I don't know, Quinn. I don't feel like being yelled at in my own house." She tells you. "Can't this wait until school?"

"No, please, I need to fix this." You start. You don't like the way Rachel is acting towards you. Sh'se never been like this. You hate it. And you hate that you are the one that made her act like this. "I need to apologize."

"I was kind off busy, Quinn." Rachel tells you. "And I still need to shower and get ready for school."

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm so so sorry" You tell her. "Can I please come in so I can explain, please?"

Rachel nods and finally opens the door so you can come in. You sigh in relief. It's a start.

"Thank you." You say as she closes the door. She turns around and stares at you.

"Go on then, explain." Is all she says.

"Right…erm…I'm really sorry about yesterday." You start. Damn you really should have prepared what you were going to say. "I was acting like such a jerk. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just so tired, Rachel. And I know it's still no excuse to explode the way I did, but please believe me when I say I'm truly sorry."

You look at her to read her reaction. You see her gaze softening when you mention being tired and sorry. "Finn is my best friend, Quinn." She says again.

"I know, I was stupid. I know you are friends, I _know_." You tell her. "I don't know what to say to fix this. I'm so sorry, Rachel. I should have never doubted you. I should never have reacted the way I did. I know it was just a performance. I just saw you two together and something snapped. My head made something totally different of that situation and then the old me took over again. It was stupid and I hope that you will forgive me and give me another chance." You almost beg. "I hope I didn't screw this up completely." You finish ranting.

Rachel stares at you. You think that this is probably the longest time you haven't heard her talk. You swallow again. It makes you really nervous. "Rach..?" You ask, taking a little step forward.

"I have to shower and get ready for school."

Your face falls. "Oh…okay…I'll just-"

"Y-You… you can come up with me and wait for me… if you want." Rachel says.

You almost smile. "Yes please, thank you." You gratefully reply.

She says nothing but gently takes your hand. Your heart skips a beat at the contact. She leads you to her bedroom.

"I'll just take a quick shower, make yourself at home, I'll be right back." She tells you, already walking into the bathroom.

At least she didn't kick your sorry ass out. You take this as a good thing. Which it is, right? You know you aren't forgiven yet but at least she's still talking to you. You would have understood if she didn't want to talk to you anymore. You go and sit down on her bed to wait for her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Quinn…Quinn, wake up."

Gentle hands are on your arms. "W-what…?" you groggily reply.

"You fell asleep."

Rachel. That's Rachel's sweet voice. Your eyes snap open and there she is. She's kneeling besides her bed, she's right next to you.

"Sorry." You say as you quickly get up. She follows your movement and gets up as well. "I didn't think I'd fall asleep again…"

"Why didn't you tell me that you weren't getting any sleep at home?" Rachel asks you.

"I didn't want to burden you with my problems." You honestly reply.

"It's not a burden, Quinn." Rachel tells you. "I want to know about these things."

"Sorry." You say again. Seems like you have a lot to apologize for. You can be so stupid sometimes. Why do you keep messing up?

"I'm sorry too."

You look up at her in confusion. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry I actually bought your story and believed you when you told me things were fine. I'm sorry I didn't notice how tired you truly were."

"I didn't want you to know, I don't want you to think I'm a whiny loser."

"You're _not_ a whiny loser! I should have seen it, what kind of girlfriend am I if I…" she gasps as she realizes what she was saying.

Girlfriend.

That's what she said right? Your mind isn't playing games again is it? _Girlfriend_. You have a feeling it might be a good day afterall.

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_

_Do you all like the pace of the story? And the way I write Rachel/Quinn?_

_I might have to change the POV from Quinn to someone else though in one of the next chapters. Not really sure how it will happen or in what way I will write it ... we'll see._


	13. Chapter 13

**How did this happen?**

**Chapter 13**

You're shocked. And you can tell that Rachel is as well. "What did you just say?" You want to make sure you didn't misunderstand her.

"Nothing!" She quickly yells.

"I heard you." You counter.

"You misheard."

"You said girlfriend." You shyly smile.

"No…" she falters.

"Rachel..." _Please don't take it back. _You don't think you can take it.

"Okay, I did." Rachel finally admits. "It's just tha-"

"Please don't take it back." You plead. _You can't. _It would hurt you

Rachel stares at you for a moment. "I'm _not_ taking it back, Quinn." She timidly smiles. "Okay? I said it because…well…I've been thinking about it and been saying it in my head the last couple of days to see how it would sound."

"And?"

"Well, clearly I'm not against it." Rachel laughs softly.

"I'm glad." You really are.

"But…I…" Rachel hesitates, suddenly avoiding eye contact with you.

"But?" you gently coax.

"Maybe it's still to early to call us _that_. I mean, I know what I just said and I'm not taking it back but can we pretend I didn't just say it?" Rachel rambles. "God, that _does_ sound like I'm taking it back…okay, how about w-"

"Rachel, Rachel, it's fine." You tell her. "I understand and you are right, we're not there yet."

"Really?"

"Yes, you're right. We're not there yet." You agree. "You still need time and I'm still…well I clearly still have issues of my own…" you honestly tell her. "Can I be happy that I heard you say the word though?

Rachel instantly smiles warmly. "Of course you can."

"Then I am." You say. "I'll be working on making it happen for real."

"Yeah?"

"Yep, I want to make you feel comfortable with this whole thing."

"Okay." She smiles.

You smile at each other as silence falls over the two of you. You remember again why you were here in the first place. You still weren't forgiven.

"I'm really sorry I was such a jerk, Rachel."

"Do you promise to never act like that again?" She asks.

"I'll try my very best, yes. I'll talk to you next time. I'm really trying to be better, Rach." You plead. You hope she will believe you.

"Okay, I forgive you." She tells you, just like that.

You smile and take a step towards her. You gently take her hand and squeeze it softly. "Thank you."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

You were sitting on the bed again. Rachel asked you to do so while she was getting ready for school, taking her things together.

You had been watching her with a smile on your face the whole time. She had forgiven you and had been thinking about her and you as girlfriends. Why wouldn't you be smiling right now? "Are you doing anything on Saturday?"

Rachel looks up from her place by the desk. "Hmm, I erm made plans with erm…" Rachel stutters and whispers. "F-…Finn."

"What?" You strain to hear her.

Rachel looks at you again. "I made plans with Finn." Rachel says more firmly. "I mean, there's this concert of a friend of his and he asked me weeks ago if I wanted to go with him…" Rachel quickly explains. "I can try to canc-…"

"Relax, it's fine." You hold up your hand to reassure her. "I'm not going to go all psycho-Quinn on you again."

"I'm free tonight…" Rachel offers.

"Oh…I can't…Santana's making me sleepover at her place." You honestly tell her.

"Making you?…you don't want to stay at Santana's?" She asks you as she comes to sit next to you.

"It's not that, I just…I'm really scared something will happen while I'm not home." You think about not telling her but it's best if you open up to her. It's best if you want to be more then friends with her, right? She needs to know, even the things you find difficult to talk about. "What if theyfight again?"

"Quinn, you can't be home _all _the time." Rachel tells you. "You have your own life. It's not good for you to be around that all the time."

"You don't understand, Rachel." You sight. Noone can.

"I probably can't no…but you can't put your life on hold." She tells you gently.

"I know…Santana told me the same thing." You rub your temples. Just thinking about it gives you so much stress. "She told me that they are grown ups and that it's their business."

"Santana's right."

"I just don't want my mom to get hurt…"

"I know, Quinn." Rachel lowers her head to meet your eyes. "But…you should go. Go and try to have fun. You deserve to." She smiles.

"Santana's also making me stay 'cause she knows I'm not getting any sleep."

"Santana's a good friend."

"She is." You agree. You're really happy and grateful to have her.

"I should thank her for looking out for you." Rachel smiles.

You instantly feel warm at hearing the words.

"How about w-" Rachel starts before her phone interrupts her. Who's calling her this early? "Sorry." She says before leaning over your side and reaching out to grab her phone on the night stand next to you. You swallow at the closeness. She's _right_ there in front of you, inches away. She sighs softly after she picks up her phone. She ends the call without answering it.

Okay, _who _is _always_ calling her that is making her feel like this? "Everything okay?" You wonder if Rachel realizes how close the both of you are right now. Rachel places her phone back down and leans back again. Her face right in front of yours. "Yes, I'm f-…" She stops talking when she realizes how close she was sitting to you. You see her swallow as she stares deeply into your own eyes. The mood quickly changing again. You notice her slowly raising her hand but before she places it on your face she changes her mind again and leans back more.

"Why do you keep doing that?" You ask. You noticed this more then once now.

"What do you mean?"

"Pulling away at the last second." You explain at Rachel who's siting back at her own side of the bed again. "You're allowed to touch me, you know? I noticed it a couple of times now. You lean in, either to touch me or kiss me _or both,_ but then change your mind…"

"Sorry, I just…"

"Still think it's weird?" you finish for her. "You only kissed or touched me when I was either sad or crying or…well…that one time after I took a bath here."

Rachel blushes. "It's not that I find it _that_ weird anymore…I…guess I'm over thinking everything to much." She sighs.

"I know you're still getting used to, well, _everything_." You start. "_But_, know that it's okay if you would want to do either of those things." You smile as Rachel blushes even more.

"Okay." She replies.

"What were you going to say before the call?" You decide to drop the subject of the phone call. But you _will_ ask her about it some other time. You don't want to ruin the mood right now by bringing it up.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you if maybe we could have dinner tonight?" Rachel asks. "Or are you going to Santana's right after school?"

"You want to have dinner with me?" You're surprised at her question.

"I…well, maybe not _at_ a restaurant. I…d- …don't think that we are ready to go _out_ yet but maybe we could get some take-out and have a nice dinner here?" Rachel asks you nervously. "And I mean, what would people think if they saw us having dinner together? I didn't tell anybody about our _situation_ yet, did you?"

"No, I didn't, and I won't 'till we both decide it's time to share these things with other people." You wouldn't want to mess up again by telling something to someone before Rachel agrees with it. You also don't know how you feel about other people finding out. It's not like you ever dated a girl before either.

"Thanks…so, you're not going to Santana's right away?" asks you again.

You shake your head. "No, I'm going home first to change my clothes. And well, to make sure everything is alright."

"So…erm, you want to have dinner here?"

You hope Rachel will stop being this nervous around you soon. While you think it's cute you hope that she rapidly will be comfortable enough to just talk to you like she talks to, well, anybody else. You smile at her. "Of course I want to. I'll pick something up tonight after I went home."

Rachel's face lights up. "Cool!" She happily replied. "We should get going now or we'll be late for school!" She says, jumping of her bed.

You get up as well and stop walking when Rachel comes to stand in front of you. She's really anxious again all of a sudden and you don't know why. You see her hesitating to do something, or say something. You just don't know what. Rachel finally takes a small step forwards and at last slowly reaches for your hand. She intertwines your fingers together and immediately looks into your eyes to see if it's okay for her to do this.

You smile softly at her. You don't want to startle her by grinning like a fool because that's what you really want to do. Inside your heart just sped up ten thousand beats per minute. You're so happy. Rachel looks down again before you see a small smile appear on her face. She tugs at your hand and leads you out.

Hands perfectly joined together.

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Thank you everyone again for all your lovely reviews. Glad you all like it!_

_I seem to be moving the story in a snails pace lol. But there are just some things I want to see happen between Rachel and Quinn before I move things futher along. I really do hope I can make the planned drama happen and succeed in the task. _

_All ideas are still welcome!_

**How did this happen?**

**Chapter 14**

You're having the best day ever. Rachel forgave you for being such a jerk towards her and then you had the best talk that ended in her holding your hand almost all the way to school.

But that's not the best part!

Well, maybe it is the most important part. But. No. The best part is that you're mother just called your cell to inform you that your father wouldn't be home all weekend. Long live business trips! You couldn't be more happy right now.

You've been smiling ever since this morning. You are on your way to the lunchroom. You're so happy right now that you even forget to put on your HBIC face while you walk the hallways of McKinley. You very gracefully swing open the door to the lunchroom. Barely resisting to just skip inside. You look around to see where your two best friends are sitting. Well, it's no surprise that they are sitting at the table they usually are sitting on. Your gaze further across the room and your eyes fall on the table that seats the brunette who seems to have stolen your heart.

You spot Kurt sitting next to her while the others are sitting opposite them. You had been rude to the poor guy again as well yesterday. No time like now to make that right again. You make your way over to their table. Rachel is the first to notice you walking towards them. She seems surprised to see you here. You smile at her, because come one, what else would you do? Well, if you could choose you would probably kiss her _but _Rachel wouldn't want that right now and you weren't sure if you were ready for everyone to know as well. All in good time. First things first.

"Hello everybody." You cheerfully say.

Four heads turn your way. Again, shocked faces. "Hi..i" Tina stutters out.

"Hey girl." Mercedes smiles.

Rachel and Kurt just look at you. Well, Rachel has a faint blush on her cheeks and Kurt looks somewhat angry. Well, you're not taken aback by that.

"Hello, Kurt." You say.

"Quinn." He politely replies. Rachel is giving you a very curious look.

"Kurt, I…erm…I wanted to apologize to you for being so rude to you yesterday after Glee. I was just really tired and cranky and I shouldn't have lashed out like that. It was uncalled for and I'm really sorry."

Kurt's mouth is all but hanging on the table by the time you're finished talking. You wait for his response… And wait. Hmm, is he going to response at all? You see him open his mouth a couple of times before actual words come out. "Okay, apology accepted. B-…"

"Thank you!" You almost shout in happiness. You walk closer and pull the boy in a tight hug from behind. He shrieks, clearly not expecting it. Well, it _was _a _very_ unusual thing for you to do. Oh well, you don't care right now.

"I wasn't finished talking." He finally says when you release him.

"Oh, sorry, do go on."

"I was going to say. I accept your apology but you should really be apologizing to Rachel." He explains, motioning to his best friend. "She really got an earful on the erm…_HBIC-parade_."

You glance at Rachel. She looks from Kurt to you and back again. You see that she wants to say something so you beat her to it. "You're right, Kurt." You start, before turning to Rachel. You briefly notice the weird looks Tina and Mercedes are giving you. They are probably wondering what had happened and why you were this happy. "Rachel, I'm very sorry for the things I said to you. I was really awful to you _again_. All the things I said were really uncalled for and really rude. I hope you forgive me." You finish with a soft smile.

Rachel's holding back a smile. You can tell by the look on her face. She stays silent, for dramatic effect, you gather. "Okay, you're forgiven, Quinn." she smiles.

Should you hug her as well now? You had with Kurt, but kinda did it without thinking about it. Does Rachel want you to hug her? Would everyone find that weird? Would _she_ find it weird? You're still all in school after all. Rachel answers your questions though.

"So, Kurt gets a hug but I don't?" She shyly asks.

You instantly smile wide and already move closer. She stands up and you waste no time putting your arms around her. You resist burying your head in her neck. Instead you settle for tightly pulling her closer. Heaven! You pull back and see her blushing again. It's faint but you can see it. She gives you another smile before sitting back down with her friends.

"Okay, so…I'll see you guys in Glee alright?" you chirp.

"Okay, see you later, Quinn."

You smile again before turning on your heels and finally make your way over to the table where your best friends are sitting. You see them, _both_, watching you intently. You hadn't thought about this! What if they suspect something? But they can't know just because of this right? You had hugged Kurt as well afterall. You just have to act as if nothing unusual happened. Yeah…good luck with that!

"Hey guys." You say before sitting down. You feel Santana's eyes on you the whole time.

"Hello, Quinn!" Brittany smiles. "Santana bought me a toy duck to hang on my bag." She happily chats, showing off her newest 'pet'.

"That's really nice, Brit." You reply. "Cute." You say, more towards Santana then at Brittany's toy.

"Are you on crack?" Santana blurts out.

You chuckle. "No, why?"

"What's with the hugging?" she says, motioning at Rachel's table.

"Oh that." You act innocently. "I was rude to Kurt and Rachel yesterday, so I apologized and they forgave me." You simply say.

"And you were so happy about that that you couldn't resist hugging them?"

"I…guess." You stutter.

"Why were you rude to them?"

Is she on to something? You can't possibly answer her question honestly. "Why are you asking so many questions?" You counter, trying to stall for time.

"Why are you ignoring so many questions?"

"It's not nice of you to be rude to them, Quinn." Brittany sadly tells you.

"I know, Britt. I felt really bad about It, but they forgave me." You smile which makes her smile as well. She goes back to merrily playing with her newest toy friend.

"What's going on, Quinn." Santana asks. "Hugging them in public? That shit-eating grin on your face all day?"

Well you can't reply that with the whole truth. "Nothing's going on but I'm very happy to report that I will be content to spend the night at your house and I might even stay a good part of Saturday as well." You grin again.

Santana is really surprised by your reply. You hope she will forget about the whole being rude to Rachel and Kurt thing by telling her this. It seems to work.

"No parents this weekend?"

"No _dad_ in this _state_ this weekend." You reply. "He's on a business trip."

Santana smiles. "Awesome! I'll get us some booze." It's her time to grin now. "Time to party!"

"Party? With only 3 people?"

"Bitch please, I'll be there, who else do you need to party with?" Santana laughs.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Time flew by today but you couldn't be happier about this. It's been a great day so far and it's about to get even better after school. You're currently sitting in Glee. You're on your usual seat next to Santana.

Mister Schuester had asked for ideas of songs for this weeks new assignment. You had discreetly smiled when Rachel's hand immediately went shooting in the air. Her ideas weren't appreciated by everyone though. While they seem really good friends, Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes were currently bickering about the songs.

It kinda ticks you off that they wouldn't let Rachel explain her point of view. One of them always seemed to interrupt her speech when she was about to explain. And it probably didn't help that Finn threw in his two pieces of useless information.

You can tell Rachel is getting upset by her friends. And while Finn is trying to help her, it isn't really helping her case. You can barely even understand her anymore because the volume of the 'fight' is increasing. You wonder why Schuester isn't putting an end to it.

You strain to hear her and it bothers you that you can't understand her anymore. You glance at Santana next to you and see that she is following everything with an amused smile on her face. You probably would have been the same a couple of weeks ago. But now it just bothers you. Rachel seemed to be getting more upset by the minute.

"Will you both just shut up! I can barely hear Rachel anymore!" Oops. You stand still in shock and lock your lips. You didn't mean to do that. It did have the desired effect though. It's quiet again but now everyone is looking at you. Say something else! You put your HBIC face back on. "I have a splitting headache and all of your bickering isn't helping!" You lamely add. Well, most of them will probably believe it. Santana however…you can feel her eyes on you.

You glance at Rachel and see that she's softly smiling to herself. Well, at least she's happy you did what you just did. You quickly sit back down after that and don't dare to look up anymore for the rest of the hour.

You do notice Santana's eyes on you the whole time. And from time to time Rachel's, you don't mind that though.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You're making your way towards Rachel's house.

After Glee you rushed home, took a quick shower, packed a few things for your stay at Santana's and then went to get the food Rachel and you had agreed on.

You turn your car into her street and park infront of her house. You're really nervous all of a sudden. You take a deep breath and wipe your sweaty hands nervously on your pants. You take your things out of the car and make your way towards her front door.

You stop infront of her door. Why are you so nervous? It's silly really, you just saw her like an hour ago. You take another deep breath and ring the doorbell. You quickly hide the present you bought her behind your back.

You hear her footsteps getting closer and already feel a smile forming on your face.

But to your surprise she doesn't open the door immediately. "Who is it?" She asks through it instead.

Weird. She knew you would come around this time. You told her you would. "Hmm, it's me, Quinn."

The door quickly flies opens after that. "Hi, Quinn!" She smiles brightly.

"Hi." You smile back. "You okay?"

"Of course!" She rapidly replies. She pokes her head out the door and looks around before leaning back. What's going on? Is she looking to see where you parked? Does she want you to move further down the street? Is she worried someone might see your car? If it is she doesn't say anything about it.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes…why?" She doesn't seem really sure herself.

"I don't know." Something is going on. She's acting weird and seems a bit uncomfortable. Or is she just nervous as well? Just like you are? You want to ask her about it but it's been such a good day that you don't want to bring the mood down. "Hmm, can I come in?" you finally ask after you both are staring at each other.

"Oh, of course, of course! Come on in." She makes room for you to pass and closes the door again once she's inside.

The second the door is closed you're nervous again. You stand before her and just stare. You see Rachel doing the same. "Hi." She finally says again.

"Hello." You shyly smile before you remember the presents you were holding. "I saw something on my to get our food and just had to buy it for you." You say, revealing the gifts you bought her. It's a cute, small, brown teddy bear who's holding a gold star between his hands. You had placed a rose between the bears hands and the star. "I hope you like it." You say, giving it to her.

"I…Quinn…I love it!" She says. "That's so sweet of you." She smiles brightly.

"I bought you the rose first but then saw the bear and well, it's was so you that I just had to buy it."

"I _do_ have a thing for gold stars, yes." Rachel says, smelling the rose and pulling the bear closer to her chest._ Lucky bear._

"I think I might have a thing for it as well now." You softly reply. Rachel's eyes shoot back up when she hears this. She blushes at your words. She takes a step forwards and you can tell she's nervous. You know she wants to do something.

"I think this is the sweetest gift I ever received, thank you." She says before she leans in closer but then chooses to grab your free hand and pull you in a tight hug.

When she pulls back you smile deeply. "You're welcome." You reply before leaning in yourself and placing a quick kiss on her lips. She blushes again and looks really shy at you.

"Do that again." She whispers.

Does she mean…? "What?" you have to be sure.

"Kiss me again." You strain to hear it but you're standing so close that you couldn't have misheard her words.

You swallow and take a step closer. Your move your hand to rest on her cheek after you wipe away a strand of fallen hair. She's looking at you intently, her eyes locked with yours. You move those last few inches closer and close the gap. You softly place your lips on hers and press closer. You feel her respond as she places her hand on your arm, tightly holding on to you. Her lips softly glide over yours as you both kiss. It's such a great feeling. You think this will never grow old.

You pull back when you need to breathe again and place your forehead against hers. Her eyes finally open and you place another quick kiss on her lips.

She smiles and her hand slides down from your arm to graze your hand. "Dinner?" She quietly asks.

You smile back. "Sounds great."

She doesn't let go of your hand as she makes her way towards the kitchen.

**TBC**

_Thank you for reading __and__ reviewing!_

_Do you think it will be to confusing if I write in someone else's POV in the same way as I do now for Quinn? _


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